The Easy Way Out

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Then, I hear it. The one thing I've been wanting to hear for weeks now. "Kayson?" My beautiful girl speaks to me, real life. "Baby?" I stand up quickly and clutch my hands onto her blanket, letting my face fall to her stomach. "Kayson..?" She repeats herself. Sounding confused and scared. "Yes, baby? What do you need?" I look up and she's staring right Xander, her deep red eyes are wide and horrified. "I- is he.. is he dead?" She looks up at me now, and when I look down and don't answer.. she knows. She takes a deep breath, takes a look at their interlaced fingers, Xander's now only resting on her own. "I was too late.." Thats when her voice breaks. She seems almost traumatized. But I would be too if I woke up from a 21 day coma just to see my brother dead right next to me. Then, she looks down at her stomach, suddenly feeling more upset than before. "Where'd they go?? Are they okay? What happened? Why am I here without them?!?!" Her voice is broken and hoarse from being out for so long, but it still carries an immense amount of power.

I take her face in my hands to calm her nerves, leaving a kiss on her forehead. "They're okay. They're in the NICU waiting for you whenever you're ready. You've been out for about 20 days, and they were born the night you got here." I've got tears falling out still, my heart breaking every 5 seconds. Her face is sad, so fucking sad. She just stares at me with sad eyes. Sadness seeps out of every one of her pores. Everywhere. Everything. It's all just fucking sad. "Where's Willow?" Her lips to to shake and her her eyes start to water. It couldn't possibly get any worse than it is right now. "She's getting some air, baby. Her everything just died right in front of us. She may need some time." Her weak arms wrap lightly around me and now she's just breathing me in, letting everything sink in at once. "We'll be okay, y'know." She whispers. I can feel the wetness of her tears hit my face, my tears soaking her hair. "We've got something to live for now."

We let each other fall apart in silence. We just sit there and cry about it all. There's nothing else we can do. It's all over. His fighting is over. He's just lost his life and there's nothing we can do about it. "Please go get Willow. She needs us. Not alone time." She's scared. She's scared that Willow will escape the pain just as herself has tried to do many times before. So I do. I get up and run out of the room, hoping to find her somewhere. I go down every hallway, every staircase, every open room I peek my head in. She's nowhere to be seen though. And I'm so scared that I'll be too late. "Sir! What the hell are you doing?!" The nurse sees me hectic and running like hell, trying to make it outside, through the exit to the ceiling. I ignore her and take my last few steps to the door, hoping like hell I'll find her just getting some air. "Willow!? Davina's awake!" I take my first step onto the top of the hospital, just as she's taking her last one off. I can't help but notice her looking back at me with scared eyes. "WILLOW! NO!!" My scared eyes meet her terrified ones, but it's too late. I'm running to the edge just as she's falling off of it. Her eyes are full of regret as she looks up at me, falling in what seems like slow motion. "FUCK! NO! NONonononono. WHAT THE HELL?!?"

She closes her eyes. And then she's gone. And there isn't a goddamn thing I can do to talk her off the edge. Because she's already gone.

I lost her.
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Davina's pov
                     
"She's gone. He's gone. Everyone's fucking gone!" He's yelling, crying, hyperventilating, panicking. I want to cry. I can't though. There's no more tears. Just an immense amount of heartbreak and betrayal. I didn't get to see her. I didn't get to tell her I loved her. I wasn't even fucking awake when she was right beside me. "I tried. I tried so fucking hard to make it in time, Davina." I can't move. I can't get up. I want to so badly though. I want to so badly just walk up to him and take him in my arms and fall apart with him. Instead, I sit and watch with an aching in my chest and a burning feeling in my throat. I can't breathe. I can't see. I can't laugh. I can't cry. I can't do fucking anything but wonder. Why? I was going to make it better. I was going to help her through it just like she helped me. Now, I feel guilty. I feel so fucking guilty. I can't help now. I can't struggle with her. Only with Kayson. We can't struggle with her. We have to do it alone. "This isn't fair. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to Xander. And it is so fucking unfair to us." I stare at Xander beside me, hoping the longer I stare that he'll wake up and crack a joke. And that Willow will walk through the door with a her bright smile that always makes me feel better.