Broken, But Brave

Chapter 14: Making Amends

Annabelle had made it routine to wake up every morning at five thirty in order to be done in the Pit for a workout by 6am. Annabelle liked the quiet that came from working out so early in the morning. It became apparent early on in her time at Dauntless that most members of the faction spent any time not working out partying until the late hours of the night, meaning most people slept in during the day. Aside from a few other security officers and Lauren, Annabelle was typically the only one in the Pit so early. This is why she was shocked to find Izzy, Damien, and Gabriel all seemingly waiting for her when she arrived this morning. On her guard, Annabelle walked towards the group who all straightened as she approached. Annabelle hadn't spoken to any of them in almost six months. Aside from growing apart because of Annabelle's leadership responsibilities, Izzy and Damien had made a constant effort to seemingly insult her relationship with Eric. It grew old incredibly fast and Annabelle's last conversation with the pair about it hadn't been particularly calm. 

Annabelle had finally reached the other side of the Pit where they all stood, blocking her path to the punching bags. No one made a move to talk, so Annabelle went ahead and did it for them.

"What are you guys doing here?"

The trio still hesitated for a moment, but it was Izzy who eventually decided to speak on their behalf. 

"We came to apologize. We've been trying to catch you for a few weeks now, but we thought it might be an easier conversation to have in private. This is the only time we could think to find you alone." 

"Okay. What exactly will you all be apologizing for?" 

"For everything. We weren't supportive of your relationship with Eric and on top of that, we may have resented you a little once you joined leadership. It just kind of felt like you were leaving us for Eric and the other higher ups." 

"I made an effort to see you guys as well. I didn't just abandon or forget about you. It was you guys who pushed me away." 

"We know. We realize that now. We were shitty friends and we're sorry." 

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

The group fell into an awkward silence again, but this time, it was Damien who spoke up first. 

"I saw you a few weeks back in the compound. You were in that back hallway leading to the chasm. You were having a panic attack." 

Annabelle immediately stiffened. She remembered that day. She'd just gotten into another fight with Tobias, one that had her questioning her ability to handle the security position. Tensions were high and it was all just too overwhelming in the moment. It was the first panic attack she'd had since leaving Abnegation. She didn't know Damien had seen her. She wasn't aware of anything at the time. Damien continued filling in the blanks for her. 

"I was going to approach and see if I could help, but then Eric was suddenly there, and he ran to your side first. I watched the way that he held you and you instantly calmed down. And the way that he spoke to you... I could finally see in that moment how much he loves you. It's one of those things that is hard to imagine until you've seen it for yourself. But I realized in that moment how wrong we were about everything, and how cruel and insensitive we had been to you and Eric. And also, how assuming and unsupportive we were about your job as leadership. We didn't realize the toll it was taking on you." 

"We're really, really sorry, Anna. We understand if this doesn't change anything on your end, but it was important to us that you at least know that we understand now." 

Annabelle pursed her lips as she contemplated their apology. A part of her did miss her friends. She missed having lunches where she could gossip or talk about nonsense instead of constantly talking about work like she did at the leadership table. She missed having Izzy to talk to about relationships. She missed having someone else to go to when she was upset with Eric. Someone who would actually be of help that is, as Tobias was less than supportive of her relationship with Eric. But at the same time, their initial betrayal had hurt, and that made trusting them now all the harder.