Broken, But Brave

Chapter 5: Conflicting Feelings

The next few weeks were a lot more of the same. Every day: wake up, eat, train, eat, train, eat, bed. To say that Annabelle was exhausted was an understatement, but still, she'd never felt more alive. After only two weeks in Dauntless, Annabelle felt more at home than she ever had in Abnegation. She and Izzy had gotten very close very fast, close enough that Annabelle even opened up about Marcus and Eric. Damien had also become a close confidant and her best sparring partner. Together, they currently ranked third and fourth. 

Throughout the past two weeks, the initiates had started training with weaponry as well. Guns were something Annabelle felt very unfamiliar with, but she knew she'd get the hang of it eventually. As she walked into the Pit today though, her heart soared at the sight in front of her. Knives. Izzy took notice of this as she walked up beside Anna and spotted the rows of knives aligned with targets as well. 

"Something else for you to kick all of our asses at?" 

"Not to sound arrogant, but yeah. You have no idea." 

"How'd you learn?" 

Annabelle tensed for a moment at Izzy's question, certain memories flooding into her memory and drowning out the world around her. Before she could fall too deep into her memories though, Annabelle straightened her spine and rolled her shoulders back, forcing herself to stand tall. 

"Marcus." 

"Alright, everyone line up at a station. Don't touch anything." 

At the sound of Four's voice echoing through the Pit, everyone filed in line, each standing in front of their own target and table of knives varying in shape and size. 

"In case you haven't figured it out yet, today we'll be working with knives. You'll start by learning how to use them at long range, and eventually we'll get to fighting with them in hand-to-hand combat. I'm only going to demonstrate this a few times and then everyone will practice on their own. Eric and I will be watching and assisting where we can on form and technique. Now pay attention." 

Annabelle tried to focus her attention on Four as he demonstrated throwing form and different techniques for throwing but found herself distracted by the feeling of eyes on her person. Her gaze shifted for a moment to find Eric's already trained on her as they often were during training. The pair of them hadn't spoken since Annabelle last told him not to, and yet still, something made Annabelle ache at the way they only ever looked at one another from a distance. Logic would tell her that was the feeling of her missing him, but her more emotional and resilient side told her to push that feeling deep, deep down and continue hating him as she should. Afraid that Eric might see her through her mask, Annabelle quickly looked away and focused back on Tobias's instructions which were already nearing its end. 

"As always, your performance today will contribute to your ranking. Begin." 

While everyone else began throwing blades almost aimlessly at their respective targets, Annabelle took her time in examining the knives laid out on the table beside her, allowing her fingers to run over them gently, the cold of the metal sending shivers up the skin of her hands and arms. Knives held a lot of painful memories for her, yet somewhere along the way, she had also grown fond of the deadly objects. Something about having a weapon to protect herself with that was almost like an extension of herself made her feel more in control and more powerful than at any other time in her life. She had only just realized in this moment how much she missed it. Relaizing she'd need to start performing to not fall behind in the rankings, Annabelle picked up one of the knives and caressed it between her fingers for a moment while aligning her body properly with the target. She stared at the human shaped target ahead, a figure she was all too familiar with, took a long deep breath, and threw.