no woman's land

I USED TO STOMP ON ANTS

i used to stomp on ants as a little girl
and the ants would never die.

i used to watch worms crawl and contort
in the wet, black dirt: pink and powerless
but, somehow, never-dying.

i used to watch kids cut the worms in half,
and enjoy their small, private cruelties.
one worm would become two worms
and the worms would never die.

when i was eleven or twelve, i began to bleed
but i never died. i was cut in half but i never died;
i was girl and woman, existing in one body,
half of me rotting and half of me ripening,
my virginity pawing at me like a dog,
hounding me—

but I never died.