The Iudex's day off

Chapter 82 - Not what I meant!

 I looked down at the paper and-

 Oh, my god!

 Lady Furina!

 This is not how you do this!

 There were a few lines on the paper, but the first one was the most prominent.

 Certificate of Marriage

 What made it worse was that Neuvillette was looking at it all confused.

 "And what might this be?"

 He asked!

 He actually asked!

 Oh, dear god!

 "Signing this little thing will deen the two of you a pair in human terms. It's for the marriage thing we talked about last time."

 "Oh."

 He seemed to fall deep in thought and while he did that, I sent a glare at Lady Furina.

 I still haven't proposed!

 Couldn't you wait a few more days?!

 This is not the right order, Lady Furina!

 She probably got at least half of my unspoken complaints as she started to speak soon after.

 "There is another reason I want you two to sign this right now."

 You should have a damn good reason for it!

 "And that is?" I grumbled.

 "This little document will give Neuvillette a little peace of mind. Or at least it will allow his steadily growing urge to kill to settle down a bit."

 Huh?

 "How so?"

 How would a marriage certificate placate Neuvillette's urge to kill?

 Why does he have an urge to kill anyway?

 The interesting thing was...

 Neuvillette seemed equally confused.

 She snapped her fingers and an old book shot off one of the shelves, landing on the table. she opened it and after a few moments turned it towards me.

 "This is the list of all laws that existed when I took my position as archon. The second one was the law that I added as soon as I could."

 The first line was:

 Bringing harm to the archon or attempting to do so will result in a life sentence.

 Well, that was only natural.

 So what about the second?

 That one was a bit longer so I took my time-

 Huh?

 "What the hell is this?"

 "What is the meaning of this, Furina?" Neuvillette asked as well.

 The second law stated:

 Bringing harm to or attempting to harm the spouse of the Iudex, Neuvillette, will result in an immediate death sentence. This sentence is to be carried out by the Iudex himself, his spouse, or someone of their choosing.

 What the hell?!

 "Lady Furina. This is..."

 Isn't this far too overboard?!

 And why has this existed for 500 years?!

 "I don't seem to recall being informed of such law existing, Furina."

 "That's because I never bothered to inform you. Right after I made it you proclaimed that you didn't wish for a mate, blah, blah, blah. So I just didn't tell you. If you had no spouse this law would never come into play in the first place. Oh, on that note, I guess the third one is important as well now." She pointed to a line lower in the book.

 Bringing harm to or attempting to harm the family of the Iudex, Neuvillette, will result in an immediate death sentence. This sentence is to be carried out by the Iudex himself, his spouse, the members of his family, or someone of their choosing.

 ...

 At this point...

 This isn't all that unexpected.

 "You should also have these. The girls have been bringing them to me on a daily basis."

 She then proceeded to place a few piles of documents on the table.

 "These are..."

 "Adoption papers, of course." The archon stated matter of factly.

 Adoption papers?

 All of these?

 "Now that I think about it, you two should start with the marriage certificate first. You should both sign these after. Saves me the time of getting another set for the two of you to sign later."

 Wait, wait, wait.

 We should both sign?

 ...

 I never thought about this!

 Back when I told Neuvillette that the melusines see him as a father figure, I never thought that a situation like this would come to pass!!

 Nope!

 This is not happening!

 Not like this!

 Not right now!

 None of those documents are getting signed today!

 Having decided this, I grabbed Neuvillette's hand and dragged him away.

 "Hey! Duke Wriothesley-"

 "Just wait a few days!" I shouted without even turning around.

 Can't you at least let me propose first?!

 You can't just jump someone with not only a marriage certificate but even parenthood!

 There were piles of adoption papers!

 Piles!

 I need some time to process at least the thought of it, okay?!

 I dragged Neuvillette back to his office without giving the archon a chance to stop me.

 It was when I plopped down on the couch from exhaustion that I noticed.

 Huh?

 It was raining.

 It was pouring outside.

 What the-

 I turned to look at Neuvillette only to find him looking at me on the verge of tears.

 "Neuv? What's-"

 "So you don't want to- You don't-" He muttered.

 I don't?

 I don't want what-

 Oh.

 Oh oh!

 "Wait, Neuvillett that's not-"

 "I understand. The girls are quite a handful..."

 The weather outside got worse with each word spoken.

 Oh god!

 "That's not what I meant!"