Fated to the Vampire Prince

18 • Fantasmer

Comforted only by the steady rhythm of her heartbeat vibrating against my breastbone.

I wanted to know what she was doing right now. If she was thinking of me. If she was...touching herself. Satisfying that ache I knew she had.

I gritted my teeth just imagining the scene, wanting to relieve that ache for her. But it was impossible. I couldn't deepen my feelings for Claire more than they already were.

No, they weren't feelings. They were primal instincts. Urges put in my head by the gods that got the better of me each time I tried to keep them in check.

"Bastien!" Natalia shouted, slamming her hand down on the table. "We need your thoughts on the matter."

Every eye around the table was on me. Curious stares that portrayed confusion or disappointment.

I shook my head slightly, trying to bring my focus back to the meeting, and looking around for context clues. Another map had been rolled out in front of me, one that was of the south, specifically the land around Chateau Blanc, and I didn't know why the conversation had turned south of the capital.

I rubbed at my temples, realizing I hadn't heard a word that was said for some time.

I was distracted, which seemed to be my new normal.

Natalia sighed then pushed up her glasses. "What do we tell Josse? He has requested you attend his Sangination Ball four months' time, which he's hosting at his chateau. Will we be making the trip?"

I cleared my throat and turned my attention back to the map, trying to order my thoughts. My first inclination was to say no. I'd be leading a host into the Lawless Lands, and that might take a month. Maybe two. Traveling to Josse would take another month.

It was cutting it too close, if truth be told, and Natalia wouldn't even have broached the subject with me if Josse hadn't been one of my favorite brothers.

That, and he was Natalia's father. I knew she longed to return to Blanc Lyon to see her family, which we hadn't done in some time.

Josse's land also encompassed the Nightfall Convent, which meant I might be able to take Claire to see her sister. Our scouts claimed the girl had reached the convent last week and had donated all the coin I'd given her to the sisters.

I had kept this news from Claire for fear of disappointing her.

I lifted my gaze to my council and folded my hands. "Perhaps the promise of warmer weather will give strength to our swords while we're freezing our asses off in the Lawless Lands."

A few chuckles went around the table. These men didn't need the promise of warm weather and dancing balls to motivate them, that's why they were on my council, but others did enjoy the time off.

I watched Natalia make a note in her journal before calling for a page to send a raven to Blanc Lyon. She was trying to hide her excitement. And so was I. Claire would be happy to hear this news, and I wanted to make her happy.

I dismissed my council, ready to get back to her, but Natalia lingered. Her journal was still open, and her quill was in her hand, which meant she had something else for me.

"What is it?" I asked.

She gave me a half-grin that I didn't like.

"We arrive in Roselyn tomorrow, and we haven't discussed any details about how best to take care of your new orphan."

I reached for the edge of the leather map and started rolling it up, feigning indifference. I knew Natalia was suspicious of how protective I'd grown of Claire, and how much time I was spending with her.