The Men Next Door

Ch 43 - Campbell

He rubbed a comforting hand down my back, not needing me to elaborate any more than he needed to fill the silence. We were comfortable with each other. With the truth. Especially now, after no shortage of tough conversations before he signed a new lease. All of our secrets, including anything I would've said about my childhood, were already on the table.

Well, except for...

"What did Elijah mean earlier? When he wished me good luck for meeting your parents and Brenna shushed him?"

Brooks tensed behind me. "I still want you to meet them before I say too much. Because I do think things have changed for the better."

"But?"

"But being back here, I've been... remembering a lot of things that I'd tucked away."

"Things I should know?"

He shrugged, the movement awkward with both of us lying down. "Things that are in the past, for me. Things that were easy to forget when I was living in a different city. But the worst of it... It didn't impact me how it impacted Brenna."

"Is that why Elijah doesn't get along with them?" I asked.

"Well, yes," Brooks replied tentatively. "But I was mostly talking about growing up. Bren shielded me from most of their fights; I only remember a handful. The physical ones — everything I told you about after Luca and Walker's ordeal." He stretched a hand above his head, absentmindedly trailing his fingers along the cool wood of the headboard. "But the reason Elijah doesn't get along with my parents... I remember every bit of that."

After what felt like five minutes of not expanding on the topic, Brooks abandoned his headboard tracing and sat up on his side of the bed. I rolled over, tucking my face against his leg while I waited for him to continue.

"When they first started dating — Brenna and Elijah, I mean — she invited our parents over to meet him. It should've been easy. Elijah was a great guy, even back then, and you know my sister. She'll find something to talk about and cut through any tension in a heartbeat." I nodded while he thoughtfully scratched his chin. "But my mom went snooping around her apartment, just like she always does... and she saw a box of condoms they'd accidentally left out."

"Weren't they 20-something? Living alone?"

"Yes. Going on 30, even. But we were raised the same way you were, Cam — when it comes to sex. And my mom started a fight over her daughter not saving herself for marriage, and my dad took her side, and somewhere along the way, somebody called Brenna a whore. Right in front of Elijah, at that."

Before I even had time to react, something clicked in my mind, and I sat up beside him. "Is that why you got so worked up at that basketball game? When Luca said..."

Brooks nodded. "Part of it. And also why I did the Christmas games with Luca in the first place. Elijah refuses to do holidays with my parents, Brenna won't go without him, and I never cared enough to come back here alone." He met my eyes, and I think we were both wondering if we would've come back this year, with or without the move. "But when Luca said... that, I was also thinking about how low you felt after the first night we fooled around. And how much you'd already judged yourself for seeing both of us in the first place." He shook his head like he still couldn't believe any of it had happened. "And honestly, Cam... if I knew about everything with Vera back then... I think I might've punched him for it."

"Brooks!"

"Well, maybe not in public," he amended. "But Elijah always says that he wishes he would've done more for Bren in that moment... and I kind of wish I did, too." With another, slower shake of his head, he added, "You were so calm, though. I felt like I was overreacting as it was."

"I was more focused on his news about Addy. And either way, it wasn't worth fighting over. He'd already apologized before that."

Brooks pursed his lips, evidently not quite agreeing with my view. "Anyway, my parents' comment really got in Brenna's head. It was affirming these awful ideas that she already had, and when she lost her first pregnancy, she convinced herself it was some sort of divine punishment. For sleeping with Elijah before they were married, and with other people before him.

"She ended up bouncing between church and therapy for a few years, and long story short, she forgave them. For what they said; for how they raised us. But Elijah... well, let's just say it's a miracle my parents have met Judah and Clara."

My fingers traced along the backside of his hand. After a couple seconds of silence, I confessed, "I don't know if I'd forgive them either. If they somehow... convinced you that something like that was your fault."

"Which is why I didn't tell you. And why Brenna hushed Elijah. Because she doesn't want..." He sighed. "That whole thing has been really hard on their relationship at times. She doesn't want us to have the same issues that they have."

I lifted his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles reassuringly, just like he'd done for me a million times before. "I trust you. I trust your judgment." And I knew just how hard it was to cut off a parent. "So if you want a relationship with them, then I'm not going to get in the way of that."

"I know." He cupped the side of my head, guiding it to lean against his shoulder. "But I hate that after all this time, I've still let this be your first impression of them."

"I've forgiven much worse."

"I don't want you to have to forgive any more."

I leaned up to press a kiss against his neck. "It's up to you. I'll meet them when you're ready — if you're ready."

"I am ready," Brooks countered. "But at the same time, I feel this responsibility to protect you from them. Like I owe it to Brenna for keeping me away from the bad parts of their relationship for all those years." He looked at the ceiling, eyes tethered to the chain dangling from the light fixture. "And I think that's why I feel so responsible for Luca, too. I mean, I've felt that way for as long as I've known him — ever since he asked me to body double so he could clean his apartment for the first time — but after he told me about his brother..."

"You want to protect him like Brenna protected you."

He nodded. "From his own family and whatever bullshit they've made him believe about himself. It feels like paying it forward I guess."

"Do you miss living close to him?" I asked, trying once again to gauge how he was doing in our new city.

"Of course I do."

"Do you... does part of you want to move back?"

He squeezed me tighter into his side. "I know we made the right choice moving. We both needed it for different reasons."

"Brooks."

"What?"

"That's not what I asked."

His chest nudged my arm with a deep inhale. "I don't want to move back. I just... I saw the guy practically every day for years, apart from those couple of weeks when he was avoiding me. I miss the routine of it. I'm not good at chasing change like you."

"I don't want to chase change anymore," I responded quickly. "I've found... a place to rest. A place that feels like home."

"Nashville? This apartment?"

I gave him a small, hopeful smile. "You."

The way he kissed me afterward felt like home, too.