𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧.

Chapter Eighteen.

There were moments were Mariposa was genuinely scared. There was one time when shehad accidentally put a dent in one of her Dad's car when she fell off her bike. She remembered that she ran away because was scared her father would yell at her, his cars were his favorite thing and working on them was one of his favorite hobbies. Eventually he found her and she remembered he hugged her tightly because he saw that there was blood on the concrete where she fell. He thought something serious happened to her. He cared about her more than his car.

Another time, Mariposa had got her period for the first time and didn't understand what was going on. She thought she was dying but really she was just becoming a woman. It wasn't the period that scared her, it was the becoming a woman that seemed so scary. The word hated women like her and it seemed they made it their mission to remind her that. Even being a woman this long still scared her especially at times like this.

Mariposa stood in the bathroom as she scrubbed her face, she exhaled as she continued to scrub aggressively. She wanted to rid every feeling of touch that Elijah left, the dirt and grit from when she was on the ground even made her sick to her stomach. Mariposa dipped her hand under the water and she let out a small yelp, she exhaled as she looked at her hand that was a deep tinted red but slightly purple. Mariposa quickly turned off the water and she looked in the mirror.

Everything to her hair to the brusies on her face to the cut to her skin, her hair was uneven one side barely hung on for dear life. She looked at the sink and a pair of doctors scissors sat on the edge. She grabbed them and she got the rest of her hair that was close to gone off. She swallowed hard as she sat the scissors down, she crouched down and she picked up the rest of her hair.

It felt so soft to the touch, she had thick coarse hair that people often told her to perm or straighten. The salons she went to often tolf her hair was too much so she often didn't get her done. She either asked her mother or she would do it herself. She trimmed on her hair. Out of the four years of maintaining, make sure it was healthy, soft and pretty for it all just to be gone within a couple of minutes killed her inside. It devasted her.

Mariposa sniffled and she ran her thumb against the softness of hair that once was hers.

A knock came from the bathroom door and Mariposa jumped slightly, "Baby... are you okay in there?" Lana asked and Mariposa swallowed hard, "Y-Yeah," Mariposa lied and suddenly the door opened. "I'm sorry baby but you've been quiet a long time, I keep hearing the water turn on and off-" Lana paused as she looked at the rest of Mariposa's hair in her grasp.

"Mari..." Lana mumbled.

Mariposa swallowed the lump in her throat, she sniffled, "I couldn't take it just hanging... I just wanted it gone," Mariposa mumbled and Lana slowly nodded as slowly walked to her daughter then she took the long strands of thick hair out of her hand. "We could've taken you somewhere and we could've--"

"So they can say my hair is too much?" Mariposa remarked.

Lana slowly nodded and she looked at her daughter's state, skin slightly agitated from the constant scrubbing and her hands blotchy, a scald arose on the inner palm of her hand. "You burnt yourself?" Lana questioned as she grabbed Mariposa's hand, Mariposa jerked her hand and she looked at her hand. "I'm fine, I was just cleaning and the water was too hot," Mariposa said and Lana grabbed Mariposa's hand, "No it's swelling up, we need to call the doctor-"

"No, I don't want any more doctors in here!" Mariposa yelled as she yanked her hand from Lana.

Lana stared at Mariposa as tears ran down her face, "They can heal and patch me up all they want but there's so much more that I just feel no one, not even me can fix. I can't even explain how I even feel, but I know that I just... feel disgusting... I feel-I feel-" Mariposa couldn't even get her words out, she sobbed and Lana walked closer and she grabbed Mariposa's hands. Mariposa looked down, "I just want to go home, I can't do the bright lights, the doctors touching me and examining me every hour. I'm fine, I just want to go home and just pretend this never happened," Mariposa added.