13. I Like My Watchdog

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Bel's stomach growls.

Kam steps back, and Bel's heels--inadvertently raised to make it easier for him to reach Kam's lips--clunk back down to the floor.

"Hungry?" Kam is smirking, and Bel wants to punch him.

Of course I'm hungry, jackass. But did my damn stomach have to let me know that right now?

"I'm craving Italian." Kam has stepped all the way back, allowing Bel to gather his scattered thoughts.

"Huh?" Bel's stomach gives another loud protest, and his heart is still doing the skippy thing, and Bel wants to crawl under the Alpha Romeo and stay there.

"There's an Italian place I like around here." Kam clarifies. "We could probably eat before you have to go get ready for work."

Food, Bel. Kam is talking about Italian food.

"Ok," Great, Bel got a two syllable word out of his mouth. Next, he should try a sentence.

The "Italian place" turns out to be one of those open air venues, with tables both inside and outside. Bel goes straight to one of the outside tables and Kam follows. Neither speak again until they've ordered food.

"You looked funny when I said I'm craving Italian," Kam says as he hands the menu back to the waitperson.

"My grandma was Italian." Bel actually got a sentence out. "My dad grew up in Little Italy."

"In New York?"

"Yeah." Bel feels a little better. Yes, let's make small talk. Small talk is good. Small talk is safe. Small talk will bring his heart rate down. "I used to visit her for Christmas sometimes, and she'd make cannolis and gelato and we'd go see the Christmas lights and stuff."

"So your dad grew up in Little Italy, then left New York and met your mom in London, then moved back to Thailand, then sent you and your sister to NYU."

"You remember all that?"

"A babysitter should have a good memory."

Bel smacks him.

"Actually, Nina chose NYU and graduated summa cum laude. I got chewed up and spit out within a semester."

Bel's mentioned this before but seems more inclined to talk about it now, so Kam feels no qualms about his next question.

"Why? I mean, uni is supposed to be hard, but—"

"I know that," Bel doesn't sound defensive. He sounds defeated. "But you know what makes it harder? When you don't know what the hell to do in the first place."

"Meaning?" Kam's push is gentle. The waitperson comes back with their drinks and Bel takes a sip before he answers.

"I mean...you go get a higher education for a reason right? Because your parents expect you to study what they did and then help run the family business right? Or because you want to study something that you probably want to spend the rest of your life doing right? So what do you do when you have no fucking clue what that something is?"

Kam blinks at the onslaught of words. The only response he can think of is, "Don't you?"

"No," Bel blows out a breath. "I hated every single class I took and had no clue what I wanted to focus on, so I didn't study. What I did do was buy a full cocktail set and provide drinks for campus mixers and things. I had more fun doing that then I did with anything else."

"Your friends must have loved coming to visit you." Kam means it. Why go out for drinks when you knew someone who could make them for free?

"They did," Bel nods. "And then I flunked all my exams. No, not flunked—the exams destroyed me. My entire transcript was full of zeros. I'm not like anyone else in my family. Nina has a successful career, and so did both my parents. I came back here on a gap year that hasn't ended yet and now I tend bar."

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