CHAPTER 4

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Blondie fell closer to the tree when it came to social interaction, albeit, kind of like me when I was sixteen. I had to remind her constantly to keep her fingers out of her hair and to look people in the eye. Partly because its good social decorum and partly because I couldn't assess her coworkers if she was staring at her fingernails.

Blondie's boss was a middle-aged woman with pixie hair and a distinct mole above her lip, with serious eyes that lent a disciplined teacher or librarian vibe. Her name was Lily Laymealot. She wore tight fitting skirts and almost transparent blouses along with silver or gold choker necklace collars. Her hair was white like snow and spiked along the edges of her crown as if she was wearing one. She was nearly six foot tall and wore only short heels. She made me self-conscious even though I wasn't there. From behind Blondie's eyes I found myself getting nervous, but Blondie was cool as a cucumber.

"Well, looks like we got some fresh meat today," said Lily. She looked up and down like maybe she was assessing a lamp. One of those tall ones you put in the living room. Blondie looked down at her shoes and then back up to Lily as if to mirror her gaze.

I hadn't met Lily during the interview process. Only her boss who made the hiring decision. Looks like I or rather Blondie, had been forced upon her as a new employee. Never a good situation but we'd have to make the best of it.

"I interfaced your profile, so you're not totally useless," said Lily. "Maybe I'll keep you with me. Inside the big office back there. Haven't had an assistant in awhile."

"Assistant?" Blondie lifted her nose. Elevated it like an airplane at takeoff. "I'm much more qualified than that."

"Don't worry sweetheart, its just a euphemism. You'll be doing a lot more than assisting," said Ms. Laymealot.

I didn't like where this was going. While Blondie was getting hung up on job descriptions I was running the ThinkingCap detector software and could tell the new boss was running a number of targeted virus attacks. Penny4URThoughts, she wanted access to read Blondie's thought stream. Sorry sweetheart only I get to see those. Lily was also running ArrowsOfBelittlement, a sophisticated supervisor package that tries to lower self-image, thus making the employee more compliant. There was something more nefarious running too, but I couldn't pinpoint it. I launched a SearchDestroy application to find out what it was while I went to work on the two other attacks.

I launched PokerFace first to keep Lily's thought intrusion software at bay. Then I targeted Lily with Blondie's UpKiss function, sending a barrage of positive comments and thought nodes ranging from how great Lily looked with short hair to how smart she must be to have attained a supervisor position at such a young age. There were a few GratitudeGrins thrown in for good measure, mainly to keep Blondie from trying to think something up on her own. I was still trying to find that other as of yet unknown virus.

Lily lead Blondie into her office and showed her an empty desk. "You can set up right here. I'm over there, just a few feet away, so I can keep my eye on you."

"This is really great," said Blondie. "And I just want to thank you for this opportunity Ms. Laymealot." She was starting to get the hang of it. "I know I have a lot to learn, so being able to learn directly from you is a real privilege."

Lily smiled. Didn't need to launch a ThoughtProbe to know why. Although a ServiceDeny attack might be coming if she didn't stop breathing down Blondie's neck. She was leaning over her for some reason.

"What's the perfume you're wearing?" Asked Lily.

"Oh, you like it?" Said Blondie, her voice pitching up in delight. "I pulled it from the printer this morning. Hope its not too strong." Now she was taking this too far. Lily might get the wrong idea and then I'll have to start downloading KungFu applications.

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