Lilium

Four

"I see."

Lilith's hands fell to her sides and she gave a direct stare. "But you never heard this from me."

For several moments, there was just the sound of both of them breathing and the ticking of a clock Lilith couldn't see. Finally, Ms. Longsly coughed.

"Do you consider yourself a good friend?"

Lilith widened her eyes before blinking several times. "I'm sorry, excuse me??"

"Are you a good friend?" Ms. Longsly stopped and reached for her coffee mug, giving Lilith time to rise from her lounged position and lean forward.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, can you be trusted? Can people rely on you?" She bit the tip of her pen before pressing it to her pad and scribbling something down. "If I were to write you a note right now and tell you to give it to someone, would you?"

What kind of question is this? Lilith narrow narrowed her eyes, noting how Ms. Longsly continuously wrote things down. From Lilith's position, the notes looked like a bunch of loops and scribbles.

"It..." She watched Ms. Longsly's hand move, nearly entranced. Then she shook herself. "It would depend on what the letter was and who you were to me. And, of course, who it is I would be taking a letter to. I don't just do favors for no one, you know."

Ms. Longsly stopped writing, looked up at Lilith, and smiled. It was a thin-lipped smile, the kind that made people either sick to their stomach or increasingly guilty. The longer Lilith stared at her, the more she realized that she wasn't sure which reaction it was that she was having.

"Do you think this makes you unreliable?" Ms. Longsly asked. Her voice was light, almost inaudible.

"I think it makes me very smart," Lilith replied.

"Interesting."

"Oh?"

Her notepad hit the table like a slap, hard and abrupt. Her perfectly-manicured nails clinked against her coffee mug when she brought it to her mouth.

"You're very selective," she said.

"Glad you noticed." Lilith's voice shook more than she wanted it to.

"Now." Ms. Longsly set the cup down. "Let's talk about Oliver."

Lilith's heart skipped a beat before dropping to her stomach. No. No, absolutely not. Her teeth ground together and she turned away, focusing on her far wall. Just like last time, it was blank.

Tic, toc, tic, toc.

"You know," Lilith said while biting the inside of her cheek, "you've gotten a bit farther than any other therapist before you. You should feel proud of yourself."

Ms. Longsly opened her mouth, revealing white teeth more uniform than cemetery headstones. "I—"

"However," Lilith pressed, "this doesn't mean you can crack me like that. The only reason I'm talking to you at all today is because my dad doesn't really have any other option for me."

Ms. Longsly's eyes opened wider, this time in what Lilith guessed is shock. Then, faster than Lilith ever thought possible, she closed her mouth again. Her teeth clattered together, the noise vaguely resembling that of broken china. She stuck the tip of her pen into her mouth and bit it.

"Have you ever been suicidal, Lilith?"

"...excuse me?"

Ms. Longsly arched an eyebrow. "You heard me."