Those Blue Eyes

London Derby

Line up:
1. Manuela Zinsberger
5. Jen Beattie
6. Leah Williamson
15. Katie McCabe
22. Kyra Coone-Cross
19. Caitlin Foord
13. Victoria Pelova
8. Y/n Y/l/n
10. Kim Little
9. Beth mead
11. Vivianne Miedema

Game starts:
8' Chelsea is starting this derby strong from the first minute they are heavly pushing forward, we don't have much space to play our game.

15' I have been tackled by Guro Reiten, she hit my ankle hard but the ref doesn't blow the wistle so the game continues. I try to stand up but I can't put weight on it, so I need to sit back down. Leah looks at me with a worried expression, I give her a small and painfull smile. To make matters even worse Chelsea scores by a header from Sam Kerr. Fuck, this fucking referee, fuck me.

The medics come over to me and check my ankle, I am cleared to continue but if it hurts again I need to sign for a sub and sit down

27' We have a corner, Im marked by Millie Bright, I am not small but Millie is definitly bigger then me but I am faster. Just when Katie takes the shot I make my move which Millie didn't expect. The ball lands at Beth her head but instead of heading it towards the goal she heads it to me. I control the ball with my chest and sent it in the top bin. I run to the fans and do my signature celebration the salut.

39' We are lucky we scored becuase Chelsea is the better team today, they have had way more chances. I feel my ankle starting to hurt again but I don't want to be subbed.

43' Chelsea have been given an free kick at 20 meters. Caitlin had a handball, she couldn't do anything about it. Behind the ball stands Maren Mjelde and Fran Kirby, both with an amazing shot. Mjelde takes the shot and it flies perfectly inside the goal. Shit, fuck, shit.
Chelsea 2 - Arsenal 1

Not much later the half time wistle goes. The mood in the changing room is down, Jonas begins to speak 'Girls, this game is not over. But we need to step up our game because we can't continue like this, I want that all of you are going to give 200% and win this match' when he finishes Kim says 'What colour is London!?' We all yell 'RED!!!'.
Everybody starts to walk out again but I stay seated, my ankle hurts to much and the physio is checking it out. 'It doesn't look good but it isn't bad. You will need to keep rest for a week and after that you should be fine' the physio says to me and Jonas, who was still standing in the changing room. 'Y/l/n, go take a shower and then come back to the bench, I will sub on Lina Hurtig' I nod and start to head into the showers after my shower I put on shorts and an Arsenal hoodie, the physio also gave me an booth just to be sure. Great, absolutly amazing.

59' The game has lost its spark. Chelsea isn't attacking much and mostly defending. Arsenal try to get the equaliser but can't manage to get through the midfield from Chelsea.

73' Suddenly Katie McCabe has escaped her opponent and starts running, she can make quite some meters. She looks up Caitlin, Beth and Viv are in the box waiting for the ball. Katie shoots and its perfect but it doesn't hit a head, instead it goes straight in. We all jump and shout 'KATIE McCABE ONLY SCORES BANGERS!'

85' The game is back like the first half only this time Arsenal has chances too. Berger is an amazing keeper so getting a ball past her is hard. I keep bounching my leg up and down, its nerve-wracking.

89' Caitlin goes down in their box. We get a penalty, I see Kim stepping up, she really is a captain. Kim takes a run-up, whole Kingsmeadow goes quite and the only thing you can hear is the ball hitting the post. Shit. In the rebound Katie shoots over.

The full time whistle goes. 2-2, the points are shared. 'Not the result we wanted but we will learn from this game and come back better' Jonas says after the game, we clap and after thanking the fans head inside. I feel an hand on my shoulder, I turn around and see Leah 'Hey, hows the ankle?' She asks pointing at my booth 'It hurts but the physio says I will be back within a week' I respond. 'Thats good. I wanted to thank you for bringing me home last night' she says nervous 'No problem' I say as we continue to walk towards the changing room, Leah takes a deep breath and asks 'I really liked last night so I was wondering if you would maybe, only if you would want to and can, like to watch a movie with me?' I would love to, lets do it tonight at mine Katie is not home, she is staying with Rue That is what i wanted to say but instead I say 'Sorry Leah, but im good. Thanks for the invite' I see the sparks leave her eyes as she hears my answer 'yeah, ofcourse no problem, no biggie' she enters the changing room and I head to the bus, I decided to sit in the front suddenly not feeling very social. I put my headphones on and 'what we had' by Dylan Dunlap starts playing

There's a reason why I never drank a double shot martini, slightly dirty
I stop breathing when I'm getting close to diagnosing what I already know
I could never ask for help
Thought I should just hate myself
I got a feeling if I leave in the morning all of my demons are coming for me
I try so hard to think I'm not my father
I forget about what makes me who I am
I try so hard to think I'm not a goner
But I'm still here where it began

The girls start to enter the bus, most of them taking a seat in the back. Then she comes in, hoodie over her head and looking down. I feel guilty, I can't helo it. We didn't even had a relationship and I still hurt her. God, why does this always happen to me. I can't wait for my drink when I get home.

It's okay to cry, it's okay to laugh
It's okay to be happy when I'm told I'm supposed to be sad
I don't miss the fights, when it got bad
No, I don't miss a single thing about my old man

We arrive back at training ground and everyone heads home. Me and Katie have small talk while driving home, she and Rue are having some trouble so Katie will stay at home tonight. We both change into our comfy clothes and order in, both having no energy to cook. While laying on the couch and watching a movie I start to crave the scotch that is in the cupboard. The popcorn is empty so I have a great excuse to go to the kitchen, I quickly check if Katie is still focused on the movie and then open the cupboard and take 3 big chunks out of the bottle but it doesn't taste like scotch, it taste like.. like fucking apple juice? Katie fucking McCabe, but how? How did she find out?
I grab the bottle and storm into the living room, Katie is still watching the movie. I stand infront off her and put the bottle down on the coffee table 'Katie what the fuck did you do with my scotch' I say angry, Katie looks from me to the bottle and from the bottle to me 'I threw it away' She says dead serious while looking me in the eye 'Fucking hell Katie, you had no right to do that!' I say almost yelling 'But thats were you are wrong, I am your friend and I care about you. All those bottles that are laying in the trash weekly, youre ruining yourself y/n' Katie says standing up 'Then stop caring about me' I say while pushing her hard and she almost falls but can catch herself on time. Shit I shouldn't have pushed her but it is to late before I knew it her fist hits my face. 'Fine, then I will stop caring about you, you can leave' I feel my nose bleeding and put my finger under it, I see blood all over my fingers, I can't control myself anymore. 'Fuck you McCabe' I hit her face with my fist and then walking out. Grabbing my carkeys and my phone.

I start driving I have know idea where but suddenly I stop. I am at Leah her house, I sit in my car outside her house for what felt like hours. I can't, I can't go in, she can't know. I drive away to the pub were I have become a regular since moving here.
I enter the pub and sit at the bar, Joe comes over to me and says laughing 'Damn it y/n I thought you were a footballer not a boxer' I can't help but laugh and reply 'Yeah, I switched carreers' nothing more is being said he just gave me my regular: scotch. My phone goes off a couple off times, Beth her name lits up but I ignore it. After a few hours and many scotchs, Joe is closing his bar. Before I can walk out Joe gives me an icepack for my 'pretty' face.
I don't really have somewhere to go, so tonight will be spend in my car. Luckily we have a day of tomorrow, I want to use my phone and let Beth know i am fine but its death just my luck.

A/N: long chapter, I hope you like it.