glitch | jack hughes (rewritten)

chapter 9

My mouth falls open in shock that he said that, turning to look at his smug expression. "Me? What if he hurts me?" I bite back, using the same tone he used with me. I look over at him since we're stopped at a red light. He takes several beats to respond but basically says that Jack would never hurt me. His logic came from the look in his eyes. 

Can he get over himself? I need someone to support my rights and wrongs. I continue our drive home in quiet just to avoid any more talk about Jack. I drum my fingers on the steering wheel to a random beat, maybe one I can work with if I remember it later. I try engraving it in my head just in case but get distracted by Theo's giggles. 

Yes, giggles!

I look over to see him typing on his phone, leaning away from me with his phone up. His grip on his phone is pretty loose so I snatch it out of his hands to see a video of me looking concentrated. I look up at the contact name to find that it's still set to the other person's phone number. 

theo josie is mean

(xxx)-xxx-xxx what's she doing?

theo she hit me.

(xxx)-xxx-xxx did she? 

theo no, but basically
look, she looks angry @ me
*video*

(xxx)-xxx-xxx she's cute :)

theo i'm glad YOU think so.
This is NOT cute. this is SCARY. 

LIFE OR DEATH 

"Who is this?" I ask, putting his phone underneath my thigh away from him. This could be some random number he texted for all I know and if that's the case we should change his number as soon as possible. "No one you like. Now give me the phone I want to talk to him." he pleads, fighting his seatbelt as he shifts around in his seat.

So it's Jack? "Why are you guys texting? When did you exchange numbers?" I ask, slightly frustrated at how easily my brother and one-night stand connected. Maybe if I act like I don't care I'll forget I'm acting and then actually stop caring? Because I want to stop caring what they do immediately. If I know nothing will come from Jack and me, him texting my brother should be fine. Right?

Ugh, Josephine, you are so infuriating. If you swear you don't care then stop telling yourself to pretend. Every time a new thought passes my mind it turns into an argument with myself, making me pop my fingers and white knuckle the steering wheel. I need to slam the door on the thoughts of Jack and ignore. 

I pull into my driveway, parking my car as I watch Theo fumble with his seatbelt and hurry to unlock his door. What's the hurry? He falls out of the car, using his hands to push himself up while his feet keep moving. I unlock the door for him, watching in pure confusion. Theo drops his phone on the floor but can't care less about it as he hurries to his bedroom and slams the door. 

Okay? I've never been with Theo when he's been this drunk but maybe this is just him. 

(xxx)-xxx-xxx did you get home okay bud?

I looked down at his phone in my hand once I felt it vibrate. Shit! I unlock Theo's phone, tossing it in between my hands like a game of hot potato. Don't respond Josie. Do not!

theo yes, he did.  

Josephine! Have you learned nothing?

(xxx)-xxx-xxx josephine?

theo yes. good night

(xxx)-xxx-xxx you can delete this text after i
send it but you looked beautiful tonight. have 
a good night gorgeous. 
*read

I feel a cartwheel in my stomach at the compliment, chills from my stomach to my chest, and shivers down my spine. Must be a fever, because me getting butterflies over a compliment isn't accurate. I delete it without rereading the message but I know the words will echo in my head for a while. 

Now that it's quiet maybe I can admit that Jack Hughes sounds like a nice thought, a sweet idea, and if I was better a great reality. I look around as if my thoughts were too loud and blow a deep breath out when I realize I didn't share this crazy thought with anyone. 

But I am not right for such a sweet boy, which is why I am so mean. In order to pull away I have to villanize him. Why do I do this? I tiptoe towards my music room, closing the door as quietly as possible. I sit down at my piano, letting my fingers skim the ivory keys until the notes match the feeling in my heart.

"And thanks to you, I, I can't love right. I get nice guys and villanize them." I sing, liking the way it sounds but hating how the words taste. "I blame you for every worst that I assume. When I'm forty-five someone calls me their wife and he fucks our lives in one selfish night." I sing in a voice barely above a whisper. I think the words over before pulling out my journal. 

Some lyrics are too good to just write on your notes app. I need the ink to bleed onto my paper. I scribble the words onto the blank sheet. I drop my pen and once I do I feel more lyrics pour out of my head. I jot them down before I can forget then sing them to see if they sound good. 

"Don't think I'll find forgiveness as fast as Dad did and God, I love you but you're such a dipshit. Please fucking fix this. 'Cause you were all I looked up to, now I can't even look at you." Mmm yes, the sound of mommy issues and how it fucked up my perception of love, delicious.

I close my journal not wanting to feel the ache those lyrics left on my chest anymore and walk out of the room looking for some Advil and a bottle of water to take to Theo's room. I leave the two essentials for a hungover individual and kiss his forehead. "I hope you're not as fucked up as me." I whisper over him, hoping he can love correctly. 

One day it'll come to me, but I'm not sure if Jack or anyone for that matter will wait for that day to come. 

-

a.n// hey my loves, so sorry for the wonky chapter. I wasn't quite sure where to take this since I have no new plan for glitch 2.0 but I will be sorting this out because no plan makes me nauseous. Second of all so sorry for going on ghost mode haha, I've been kinda busy. I went to go see Adam Fantilli play, he was so adorable & I celebrated my birthday! Hooray. Another trip around the sun!

But I am back, hoping to pop out some more chapters for all three of my books!

I hope you guys have been well, I wish you nothing but the best.

I love you guys to the moon and to saturn.

Stay safe, stay kind, and DM me if you need anything. 

Love Lottie💐💐💐