Chapter 4. Battlewounds

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~Dream's pov~

"I just don't understand Lucienne. What could possibly be so special about this girl." I say as I rub my temples with both my hands.
"Maybe she awakened your mortal side Morpheus. These feelings you have for this girl are not meant for the Endless."
"Then why am I feeling them?" I snap at her.
I sigh as she raises her eyebrows at my sudden outburst.
"I have never felt this way before. My very being is exploding with different emotions and I have no clue what to do with them."
"You feel them Morpheus." She answers.
"So it is true what I heard. Morpheus is in love with a mortal."
A black raven flies into the library and sits down next to Lucienne.
"Remember who you are speaking to Matthew." I snarl at him, shooting him a warning glare.
"Yes lord. My apologies." The bird bows down his head.
"What is so special about her? Everyone in the Dreaming can feel something is off." He asks carefully.
"I wish I knew Matthew." I sigh.
I think for a moment, reaching deep inside to try and figure out all these emotions that are drowning me.
"What if she does not return Lucienne?" I ask, my voice wavering.
She looks down and refuses to meet my gaze.
"I need to speak with Death." I state before disappearing in a cloud of sand, not allowing either of them to bother me with their opinions.

"Sister?" I call out when I see her walk away from a little market stand that sells fruit.
She takes a bite from the apple she has just gotten from the friendly old man who owns it.
"Morpheus! How lovely to see you here." She smiles.
"I thought the Waking world was not really your thing?" She teases.
"It isn't Death, but I needed to speak to you about an urgent matter."
She raises her eyebrows as she stops walking to turn to me.
She nudges her head at me gesturing me to continue.
"I met a girl." I start.
"A mortal?" She asks, interrupting me.
"Yes. A mortal. She arrived in the Dreaming yesterday. I felt a connection with her Death. But I fear she might take her own life soon. I command you not to take her." I say sternly.
"You command me?" She asks amused.
"I can sense who it is you're talking about. Despair has always taken a liking to her, the poor soul. She was still a child when she called upon me the first time.  I refused to take her wanting to give her another chance. Dream, nothing has gotten better from then on."
"Why does Despair toy with her like this? Why her?" I ask, wanting answers.
"I have no idea. This girl is special, she has an aura around her that is almost impossible to resist. You feel it as well, don't you? This irresistible pull when you're near her? Apparently Despair felt it too, sadly for Y/n."
Death's face drops thinking about all the misfortune Y/n has gone through in her life.
"We cannot let Despair torture innocent humans like this." I say calmly.
"There is nothing we can do Dream. It is her realm after all."
I hang my head in defeat.
"Dream... I'm not sure I should tell you this but I know you care about her. She harms herself. Today even, I was with her, I held her as she mutilated herself."
I clench my jaw again thinking about her putting herself through that.
"I thought she would end it today, I could feel she wanted to. But something stopped her."
A feeling of relief rises in my chest thinking about her staying alive another day.
Perhaps it is foolish of me to believe I had a hand in her decision.
"Listen, all you can do is show her that life is worth living. Make her feel joy."
I nod slowly.
"I suppose."

"Dream?" I hear her voice call out to me and immediately I am filled with warmth, forgetting about all the heaviness that enveloped me only moments ago.
I close my eyes and when I open them I am standing next to her bed.
"Yes darling."
She sits up and smiles at me.
"I want to come to the dreaming but I can't seem to fall asleep."
I step closer to her as I pull the bag of sand out of my cloak.
"Allow me." I ask as I pour some of the sand onto the palm of my hand.
She lays back down and I take it as my sign to continue.
I hold up my hand and blow the sand towards her.
It surrounds her and I see her eyes flutter with sleep.
"I will see you soon my darling." I whisper before she falls asleep.

~Y/n's pov~

When I open my eyes I let out a content sigh, seeing I'm back in the Dreaming.
I feel his hands hold onto my shoulders, his chest almost pressed up against my back.
I take a small step back to close the distance between us and rest my head backwards onto his chest.
I feel his body tense up at my movement but soon he relaxes again, letting his shoulders drop.
I let out a deep breath, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders at the feeling of his touch.
He slowly spins me around and caresses my cheek ever so carefully.
"You look beautiful my darling."
His voice sounds low.
"I've been looking forward to seeing you all day." I say excitedly.
"Where do you want to go today?" He asks.
I turn around to scan across the Dreaming, looking for the perfect spot.
"Can we go up on that mountain?" I ask, pointing to the mountain in question.
Dream nods shortly before waving his hand.
I open my eyes and suddenly we are on the top of the mountain I was just pointing towards.
My jaw drops slightly, taking in the breathtaking view.
"Wow." I breathe out.
"This is your home darling." Dream says close enough to my ear to give me goosebumps.
As we go to sit down I lay down on my back, looking up at the sky.
I feel Dream lay down next to me and I can sense his eyes on me.
"I love how clear the sky is. Although, I love stargazing more." I say simply, not putting much thought into it.
Dream raises his hand and waves it above us before the clear blue turns into a night sky filled with stars.
My eyes widen in wonder as I look at the stars, feeling joy fill my chest.

"You prefer the night sky?" I hear Dream ask as he looks into my eyes thoughtfully.

"I suppose I do" I say with a smile playing across my lips.

"Tell me why?"

I take a deep breath while considering my words "I think it makes me feel more at peace, knowing everyone is asleep and there is nothing I need to do. There's no smile I need to fake, no people I need to speak to, no customers to please. I can just be me and go to sleep."

Dream turns to look at the sky again and stays quiet for a while.

"Y/n?" He asks, sitting up.
I do the same as I straighten my back and cross my legs.
I look at him and even though the sky represents the night it is still daytime around us, allowing me to see him perfectly clear.
He reaches over to me and grabs my hand.
He pulls it towards him, stretching out my arm.
He waves his hand over my arm and suddenly all my cuts and scars appear.
I look up at him with wide eyes and shock plastered on my face but he doesn't take his eyes off my arm.
He suddenly grabs my other arm and does the same thing, exposing another series of marks and scars.
His breathing intensifies and I can see the hurt on his face which breaks my heart.
He puts his hand on my exposed leg before slowly and carefully dragging it up, pushing up the fabric of my dress.
When he exposes my thigh he again waves his hand and my breath catches in my throat when all the marks I have in the real world show up on both my legs.
He takes his hand back and averts his eyes away from me.
I bet I am the ugliest thing he has ever seen, covered in marks like this.
"How long have you been doing this?" He asks in a cold tone.
I pause for a moment, feeling so small in his presence all of the sudden.
"Since I was twelve." I admit embarrassedly.
"When was the last time?" He asks in the same cold tone.
"Dream..." I hesitate.
"When was the last time Y/n?" He asks again.
"Today." I blurt out, tears stinging in my eyes.
We both stay quiet for a moment before he speaks up again, this time in a much softer tone.
He carefully takes my hand in his again and bends down to place a soft kiss on my arm, on top of my wounds.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on, with or without your scars. But please, let me take your pain away." He says in a hushed tone.
I look at him with glassy eyes and all I can do is nod.
He once again waves his arm and to my surprise my body is rid of every scar I had marked it with for all these years.
I look down at my body in shock, feeling a wave of emotions rush over me.
A part of me feels sad, loss over all these wounds that I carried for a reason, as if my past and part of me had been erased.
But the other part of me feels so grateful for being granted a clean slate.
"Just promise me you will not harm yourself again." Dream asks with pain in his words.
"I promise." I whisper.
I clear my throat trying to regain my composure.
"I won't disappoint you."
"You could never disappoint me darling." He reassures me as he wipes a single tear that escaped my eyes off my cheek.

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