The Iudex's day off

Chapter 64 - Habits

 Crash!

 "Yours."

 He calmly sat as the cup flew past his head and shattered when it slammed into the wall behind him.

 "You have horrible aim."

 "Not wanting to injure your face does not signify horrible aim."

 Tsk!

 Right now that's the only good thing about you.

 "Even if you did injure me, it would heal in a matter of seconds-"

 Crash!

 "Ouch." He said blankly, wiping away the blood flowing from the cup on his forehead.

 Tsk!

 Now I feel bad.

 But true to his words, the cut healed in seconds.

 "Satisfied? I only brought four cups."

 "No, I'm not. I'm pissed. Now spit out why I was naked?"

 He gave me a weird look.

 "You can't possibly think that I stripped you naked, right?"

 "What else? Did I take my own clothes off or something?" I asked sarcastically.

 Instead of answering, he snapped his fingers and a blueish hue surrounded the whole room.

 Before I could even question his actions, I saw movement from the corner of my eye.

 There stood Neuvillette with me in his arms.

 I looked at the one on the couch, back to the other one, and then again to the one on the couch.

 "What's the meaning of this?"

 "Didn't you want to know why you were naked?" He chuckled.

 Still, doubtfully, I followed his line of sight to the, I assume, illusion of both of us.

 Neuvillette had merely set two steps toward my room when I suddenly rolled out of his arms.

 I glared at him and I could see that my eyes were unfocused, likely out of it from all the stress and exhaustion.

 The next thing I know, I'm watching illusion me take off his coat and slam it into illusion Neuvillette's face. The coat was followed by a shirt, as well as a few other articles of clothing that were tossed just about everywhere across the room.

 Then, now left only with my underwear, I walked into my room and slammed the door shut, Leaving Neuvillette looking absolutely stunned.

 A second later, the illusions disappeared, the room returning to its previous state. 

 Having watched that, I looked around the room and embarrassingly enough, I did spot quite a few of my clothes hanging off this and that.

 God damn it!

 I must be crazy!

 How was I so out of it?!

 "Anyway, it's not like it's the first time I've seen you like that so I don't see why it's suddenly a big deal now." Neuvillette said, offering me a cup of tea.

 "What the hell does that mean?"

 I took a sip of the tea and while it wasn't the best, it was at least drinkable.

 "Do you not know of your own habits?"

 "What habits?" I eyes him suspiciously over the cup.

 "When I was spending my nights on your couch, every morning you would walk out of your room wearing nothing but your underwear, set some water on the stove for tea, and then go back to your room."

 "Pfft! Cough! Cough! Cough!"

 I did what?!

 I nearly choked on my tea hearing that.

 Wha-

 What-

 What the hell?!

 "And you never thought of informing me of this?!"

 F*ck!

 I had been parading around naked in front of Neuvillette and I didn't even know it!

 "Well, of course not. Not informing you of this little habit was one of the only times instinct won over reason. Even the reasonable side of me didn't wish to inform you let alone this one."

  So-

 Wait.

 You're saying...

 "Both sides enjoyed watching me walk around naked?"

 "Quite so." He nodded.

 You-

 You-

 Neuvillette you sneaky bastard!

 Aaah!

 What am I to do now?!

 Please delete that knowledge from my brain!

 "And Sigewinne calls me a pervert." 

 "You're the one walking around without your clothes."

 "Fuck you."

 He smirked at me, raising an eyebrow.

 "Oh?"

 Oh?

 What oh?

 What did he mean by-

 Oh...

 This stupid dragon bastard!

 "Don't you dare take that literally! I'm cursing at you! Cursing!"

 This idiot!

 Argh!

 I'm supposed to be pissed at him!

 I am pissed at him!

 But right now I'm far too embarrassed to express that.

 "Son of a b*tch..."

 "That insult is pointless."

 "What?"

 What's he on about now?

 "I don't have parents. Insulting my nonexistent mother will get you nowhere." He said bluntly.

 Argh!

 "Stupid lizard!"

 "My real body is more akin to a snake than a lizard."

 Oh.

 My.

 God!

 "Leave."

 "Excuse me?"

 "Get out." I repeated.

 I can't take any more of this.

 "Alright."

 And he really stood up and walked towards the door.

 Now he listens?!

 "Stand right there you no common sense idiot!"

 "Didn't you tell me to leave?"

 "If I tell you to jump off a cliff  you'll do it?" I asked sarcastically.

 His reply, however...

 "Well, yes, of course."

 Hearing such a reply, I grabbed a third teacup and threw it at him.

 "Fuck you, Neuvillette!"

 "Is that still you cursing or was that an offer this time?"

 Dear god, please save my sanity!

 I want my innocent, less straightforward Neuvillette back!