Chapter 44

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[Asif age: 20]

No fucking way.

This isn't happening right now and I'm starting to see things again.

But deep In my guts I knew it was real, this is happening
But my heart,  body and soul wasn't able to register that.

I opened my mouth to say something but immediately shut it.

What should I say?

'Hey rahma, it's nice to see you again after you left me for three fucking years and completely cut off everything with me without so much as giving me a reason?

No I didn't think so.

Suddenly flashes of the first two years came back in a full rush of memories,  opening deep words that I tried so hard to cover up.

How fucked up I was without her.

Why?, why did I suddenly run into her?.

We both held heated gaze,  neither of us willing to break it or say a thing.

After what seemed like endless minutes, she slowly packed her bags and got back on her feet.

She didn't say a single word and walked away.
Just like that.

And my heart ripped open,
If I let her go again,  I might never get her back.

And as much as I'm fucking angry at her, I know that loosing her will hurt more this time because it'll come with regret of not stopping her this time when she's about to clearly walk out.

Damn it.

In a sharp turn and long strides I caught up to her and blocked her path.

We once again locked gaze but this time I spoke and my voice came out more hoarse than I intended.

"Stop"

And that's the only word i was able to get out of her.
I needed her to stop running,  to explain, why she had done all she did.

Looking deep into her eyes, I looked and searched for every single flicker of emotion.

And I saw it,

Hurt, pain, loneliness and longing.

"Why." I said in a whisper as I moved closer to her in silent step, scared that if I moved too fast she might run away again.

She didn't reply,  instead she stood there like a frozen statue,  she open her lips to reply but instead released a staggered breathing.

"I'm sorry. " She finally said and that's the first time i heard her voice In ages.

My hand moved on it's accord as it approached her cheek which looked pale.

I stopped mid-air seeking for permission to touch her again.

Giving me her approval she stepped further and rested her cheek against my.

Peace enveloped my soul as I felt her again.

Her being so close and a tear slicker down my cheek as I pulled her closer and broke in tears.

I wasn't able to contain it, so I released all the pent up emotions.

The sadness, loneliness, grief and relief of having her here.

I didn't think it'll be possible to ever see her again.

I lost all hope on ever meeting her again.

Fuck I missed her so much.

But let's be clear, I'm not letting go of her ever.

"You're not leaving me again. " I said with such clear determination as I held her so impossibly close to my heart.

"We have to talk." She finally said as we pulled apart.

"We do." I replied

"But not here, let's go somewhere more private. " She said.

"I'm driving. " I said as I turned and made my way towards my car while she followed.

We both got into the car, she gave me the location while I drove.

30 minutes later, we arrived at a valley, there was no one there.

And no sound was heard except for the crickets in the grass.

I had a mat in my car, so I spread it on the floor as we both sat down.

Once again silence fell upon us as she looked up at the sky.

It was already getting dim as the sun was settling thereby giving it a beautiful orange view.

She released a long breath, closed her eyes.

And said three words that made me speechless.

"I have leukaemia." She said

"And a few more years to live."

Silence

It was so defeaning after she said that, and I was speechless,  trying to process if I heard her right.

And if I did,  I didn't want to believe it.

"How long?" I asked.

"Not more than a year. " She spoke, but I didn't detect any sadness from her voice.

"No rahma, I'm asking how long you knew about your disease and kept it away from me." I said In a calm and collected voice.

It's finally time for me to do what's right.
Make the best decision and stop living in a miserable loop in time.

As much as it broke my heart to find out about her disease.

I still had a year with her.

And within that year, I'll forget about the problems, or troubles ahead of us.

I'll make sure to make this the most memorable year of her life.

"I found out after Maldives." She said and everything finally clicked.

Why she suddenly started acting strange,  why she cut off.

"Why did you leave the country.?"

"I had to get treatment urgently so we moved." She she in a weak voice.

"You should have told me." I said as I pulled her into me.

"I might not have been able to cure you, but I would have been there." I said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you." She said.

"It's okay, what matters is we still have time." I said.

This might be one of the most happiest memories of us.

Being together once again.

A/N
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