resolve // 5SOS

46

"I don't think it is something we ever get over," I said, wrapping my arm round him, "At least we have each other, we get it,"

"Yeah. I am eternally grateful you are my twin sister, you know that right? I mean, we are half siblings, we could've never even known each other,"

"That's a scary thought,"

"I couldn't have done this all without you, Ally. I am serious. I know I keep things between dad and I nowadays but I love you, and admire you, and I am so grateful you are my sister,"

"I love you too,"

"Does your shoulder feel better?"

"Yeah. It didn't hurt much it just shocked me. I know it is an accident but Auntie Sierra hasn't hurt me before and I am shaken up from it,"

"That's fair enough,"

"I love you, Ax,"

"I love you too,"

We sat for a bit, then Sierra brought us warm cookies and perched on the end of the bed.

"I am sorry, Ally,"

"It's okay,"

"Do you need medicine?"

"No. It took me by surprise, that is all. I love you,"

"I love you too. Is there anything either of you would like to do?"

"Can we play a board game together?" Axel asked, "After we have eaten,"

"I like that idea. Ally?"

"Yeah,"

"Luke and I will finish cooking, you guys chill in here for a bit, maybe,"

I laid down on the bed and rested on my side, looking across the room. There were a couple of guitars in here, and some random spare things, and then the photos of Gabi. Even though I compared myself to her a lot less now, it still felt weird knowing everyone loved her the most for all those years. No one around Ax and I had spread their love far enough to care for us, so it was hard for me to believe everyone round here did too.

I knew Gabi was Luke and Sierra's favourite, but I hoped I was Sierra's top five.

"Is your shoulder okay now?"

"Yeah,"

"Cool. Me and Charles are gonna hang out on Monday I think, is that cool with you?"

"You don't need to ask me,"

"I wanna make sure you're okay with me being away. I feel like you are having a hard time again,"

"I am fine,"

"You promise?"

"Well I am fine-ish, then," I mumbled, taking hold of his hand, "I am happy you have a boyfriend, of course you can hangout. Me and dad will do something,"

"Maybe you and Charles hang out soon?"

"I don't need to,"

"Don't you want to?"

"Yeah but not if its just to make up for how you're seeing him,"

"It's not, promise,"

"Yeah, then,"

"I will tell him,"

"He should've messaged me still though,"

"He forgets these things, he doesn't shut up about spending time with you, promise,"

"Okay. I worry that you are a lot better than me,"

"Shut up," he laughed, "I have told you a million times you are the coolest person I know,"

"But I cry all the time,"

"I don't care,"

"Thank you,"

"That's only a minor part of you, even if you think it's a big deal. You don't realise how much you make everyone smile,"

"I guess,"

"Come on, we all love you. Friends and family,"

"I do feel quite appreciated most of the time,"

"I love life right now, not the shitty bits but everything else,"

I nodded, but stayed quiet, moving to rest in his side. Ever since we were little, I was always way smaller than Ax, and apparently I used to slot into his side all the time. I bet if we were actual twins we would've even done it in the womb. He had always been the mature one and the protector.

Eventually, we got called down for food, so we went to the table and helped set it. Luke got me some water, then ruffled my hair, Sierra fixing it for me.

"How are you feeling, munchkin?"

"Okay,"

"Ax?"

"I'm okay too,"

"Something seems to be getting you both down!"

"You have a lot of photos of Gabi round your house, and you kept her as well as the photos. We had a photo kept but not us," I mumbled, "But it's fine, we have dad now,"

"I am sorry. I know it probably doesn't help much but we have photos of you, and you are always welcome over forever,"

"What? Where?"

"Sierra has one with Ally in our room, and we have a group one in the living room,"

"Oh. Thank you,"

"We love you both so much. Aside from the way the photo was sourced, are you liking having one of your younger self?"

"Yeah, a bit. It kind of doesn't feel like me," Axel said, "I was playing the drums using a pot and a spoon... I thought that was cool,"

"That is cool! How are the drums getting on?"

"He is really good,"

"I guess," he said, smiling at me, "It helps clear my head,"

"That's good! What was in your photo, Ally?"

"A bunny,"

"Oh wow, your dad was saying you wanna work with animals,"

"I do. I want to help them,"

"That is wonderful," Sierra said, "Both of you will be really good at helping those who need it, we are always here to help you out in any way you need,"

"Thank you,"

After tea, everyone whooped my ass at the board games- I wasn't on form today, but I had fun. Auntie Sierra let me use her shower and showed me our photo, then she even dried my hair so I could get in Axel's bed. My body was exhausted.

"Goodnight kiddos,"

"Goodnight Uncle Luke," I yawned, "I had a nice day,"

"Me too,"

"Good!"

"Tell Auntie Sierra I love her, I am about to fall asleep,"

"I will do. Sleep tight, you two. Back home to your dad tomorrow,"