Don't Let Me Go

Back to the Hospital

Pulling up to the all-too-familiar building with the neon cross sign illuminating the brick surrounding it makes me sicker than I've been in a while.

I remember the night months ago that I was riding in the ambulance with her. Fear and worry was coursing through my veins and my heart was beating fast. Alyssa wasn't responding to the paramedics attempts at keeping her breathing. I looked down at her, tears started to pour out and I gripped her hand tighter in mine. I had cuts and a definite bump on my head but I couldn't feel the pain when Alyssa was on the verge of death in front of me. Alyssa, your girlfriend who you loved was gone now because you were behind the wheel. Damn me for suggesting we go to the mall. Damn me for taking that turn without checking for cars on either side. Damn me for pulling out and smashing into that other driver. Damn me for ending Alyssa's life. She was gone because of you, Harry.

I banged my fists on the steering wheel and let out an angry yell. I looked up and watched the people entering the building. A woman was rushing her baby into the hospital and I could see she was frantic and tears stained her face. This made me feel even worse.

I turned away and looked at my lap. You've got to be strong for Jameson, Harry. You're all she has. She needs you.

Pretty soon, I'm already in the building asking the receptionist what room she's in.

"What's the last name?" she looks at me with a judge-mental, condescending look.

"I... I... I don't know but her name is Jameson," I stutter.

"Then I don't believe I can allow you to see anybody at the moment," she looks at me like I'm an idiot. I want to punch her in the face. Doesn't she have a heart?

"Yes ma'am I will be seeing someone, right now. Why don't you be better at your job and help me?" I raised my voice.

She gave me a nasty look and an eye roll and typed something into her computer.

"What were her injuries?" She doesn't look at me, but keeps staring at her screen.

"She had numerous facial injuries and some to her abdomen and skull, maybe some broken ribs.." I trail off, nervous that she may just dismiss me again.

"Jameson Hendrickson?" she looks again at me like if I died right now in front of her she'd simply call the janitor to clean me up and move on with her day.

"I'll see, what room?" I ask.

"56, are we done here now?" She takes a swig of her drink by her computer.

I don't answer, I just return the rude by leaving and heading towards where the signs direct me to room 56. I walk to the door and do a light knock before entering.