The Lord of the Rings: An unlikely Reincarnation

-Chapter 11 Hobbit-

-POV third person-

As Maira sits there, everyone else looks at her in curiosity. Then, all doubts that she isn't Sauron are swept away as a red eye forms on her hand. The eye looks around, and its sight moves to the clock tower where Bard is shooting at the dragon.

-POV Maira-

Your narrative is filled with suspense and action as the characters confront Smaug. Here's a revised version with some grammar improvements:

I use the eye to see what Bard and Bain will do. I see Bard reaching for an arrow, only to find it's the last one. Fear is evident in his eyes as he grabs it, knocks it into his bow, and shoots. The arrow bounces off the dragon's armor, but this time, Smaug flies really close over the tower, ripping the lock with him. I see Bain climbing up the tower with what looks like a black iron arrow. He makes his presence known by saying, "Dad!" Bard looks at him, shocked, and says, "Bain?! What are you doing?! Why didn't you leave?! You were supposed to leave!" He answers, "I came to help you." But Bard shakes his head sadly, saying, "No! Nothing can stop him now!" But Bain says, "This might," showing the black arrow. Bard looks at him gratefully and strokes Bain's face. I smile at the love he shows, then he says, "Bain, you go back. You get out of here now!" Bain looks behind Bard and sees Smaug approaching, and I do too. Bain yells, "DAD!" Smaug smashes through the top part of the tower, and I see Bard lying on his back at the remaining top of the clock tower. He yells, "BAIN!" I see Bain hanging by one arm at the edge of the tower, black arrow in the other hand. I gasp, but Bard manages to pull him up, and I sigh in relief.

Smaug, meanwhile, has landed in the town in front of the master's boat. The master yells, "Stop! Stop! Halt! Halt!" The boat starts moving again. Smaug continues his rant, and I scowl, thinking, 'Shut up, you overgrown fire-breathing lizard!' Smaug now says, "Is that your child? You cannot save him from the fire. He will BURN!" My scowl deepens, and I think, 'This infernal lizard.'

As Smaug slowly walks toward the tower to kill them, Bard fixes his bow on the two halves of the wall, with his bowstring taut between them. He puts the black arrow on the shoulder of Bain, and then he begins drawing the bowstring back. He says, "Stay still, son. Stay still." Then Smaug says, "Tell me, wretch - How now shall you challenge me?!"

I notice a missing scale on Smaug's armor and grin. 'Your arrogance will be your downfall, lizard.' I know Bard has also seen the missing scale. He begins to aim. Smaug says, "You have nothing left but your DEATH!" Smaug howls, now approaching more rapidly. Bain looks over his shoulder, but Bard stops him, saying, "Bain! Look at me. You look at me." Bard strains with the effort of holding the black arrow. In that moment, I do something I haven't done in many millennia: I pray to Eru that Bard's shot hits its mark. Bard says, "A little to your left." Bain shifts a bit to his left, moving the tip of the arrow more towards the spot where the scale is missing. Then Bard says, "That's it."

Bard releases the black arrow, and I hold my breath. The arrow flies through the air and hits its mark! The arrow sinks all the way inside the dragon, almost 6-7 feet deep. I cheer, but everyone looks at me in confusion because they didn't see it. I open my eyes and yell, "The dragon is hit right in the heart! Bard has killed the dragon!" They all look at Smaug, who has started thrashing around in pain, hitting the tower where Bard and Bain are. The tower falls, but luckily, they hit the water.

Smaug now flies into the air, trying to escape, but then he starts to fall and lands directly on the master's boat, killing everyone on board. I grin, 'Good, the master is also dead; it seems Eru has heard all of my prayers.' Everyone in the boat begins to cheer, even Tauriel. It isn't every day you see an evil dragon die.