Healer of Sakkara

Chapter 10 - Zenír

The ice-cold dousing cleared his mind, and after drying his face with a clean, soft towel, he inhaled deeply and released his breath.

He should have known better than to reveal the truth; he had promised himself he never would; but in the heat of the moment, it had seemed like the only thing to do. In Thanis' voice, and words, and in the way he treated him with kindness and care, Zenír had imagined that the time had finally come for him to be truly honest.

And then, once he had said more than he had ever meant to say; once it was too late to take back the words, the thing he feared most had come to pass, and he had lost the thing he valued most — Iksthanis' respect.

He should have known, and he couldn't blame anyone for thinking that the son of a monster would be a monster himself and for treating him accordingly; and when the others inevitably learned the truth as well, he would not blame them for abandoning him, either.

Suddenly in need of fresh air, he moved to the windows, opened one of the door-like panels, and stepped out onto the balcony. From the sounds and the scents on the breeze, he knew the evening had given way to night, and hugged himself against the chill.

He had hoped to stay here — had hoped to know the peace of a permanent home — but it seemed this was not to be. His father had been right when he had told him that his gift would bring him nothing but misery and pain, though not in the way his father had promised it would.

The vision he had glimpsed of a future in which he and the man he loved shared a happy, peaceful life, had given him faith when that man had seemed to be lost to him forever. And yet the future was ever changing, each choice a fork in a winding road, and it seemed that he had made a choice that had taken him off track.

The future yawned before him, bleak as a barren plain, and he shivered at the thought of facing it alone.

Something brushed his cheek, light as a feather, and then again. Curious, he leaned forward and held out his hand, only to be startled by a loud noise at his back.

Before he could ascertain the cause, he was caught from behind and lifted off his feet. For one terrible moment, he thought that someone meant to toss him over the balcony's edge, and then he was hauled back and away from it, wrapped in a pair of massive arms.

Iksthanis' familiar scent surrounded him as the pair fell in a heap on the floor, and Zenír found himself trapped beneath the larger man.

"Thanis! What are you doing?" Zenír gasped. "Have you lost your mind?"

"That is my question," Iksthanis growled. "What were you thinking just now?"

"Nothing! I only came out for a breath of fresh air!"

"Must you lean so far over the parapet to breathe?"

"No; I thought I felt something falling."

"Other than yourself, you mean."

"I didn't fall," Zenír said. "And I wasn't about to."

"Because I stopped you."

Zenír frowned. "Is that what you think of me? That I would give in to despair in such a way? I have lived with my burdens long enough. I know how to bear them."

"And I know the aspect of a man who feels he has nothing left to live for," Iksthanis argued.

Zenír was silent for a moment. The thought of ending himself over it had not crossed his mind, but it would be a lie to say Iksthanis was mistaken in what he saw.

"You left without saying anything," he said quietly. "I thought you were not coming back."

Iksthanis sat up and inhaled deeply. When he spoke, his voice carried hints of self-censure and regret.