Let's Go Brooklyn *Spot Conlon Modern AU*

Afterglow

Wednesday and Thursday fly by. Rehearsal is going well. We've started putting everything together and working on getting off-script. Opening night is the Thursday after regular football season is over, which is three weeks away. Because of our winning record of 4-1 and being predicted to win most of the rest of our games, the Brooklyn Knights has a good chance of making it to playoffs.

Tonight's game is causing some mixed emotions from the football players. We're playing an undefeated team who hasn't let an opponent get more than eight points every game. Mush is excited, because he thinks we can beat them, but Skittery and Spot are nervous. Skittery, well, because, let's be honest, he's always nervous. And Spot's nervous because of the amount of pressure on him to lead his team to victory. Not only for himself or his team, but for his family too, because of everything with his dad and college.

I don't know what to think. I have faith in our football team, but we have a habit of getting down on ourselves after a lot of mistakes. The same goes for literally almost every sports team at our school.

The game tonight is more than an hour away, so sadly, the boys and I will not be going. And movie night is pushed to Saturday so the boys can go home and sleep instead of staying up late watching TV.

I text Spot while he's on the bus, wishing him luck and telling him to text me after the game. Once the game starts, Race and I go to Blink's house and meet up with the rest of the boys and we play board games while we wait for the football game to be over. I sit in anxious silence most of the time, biting my nails.

"Brin, you look like you're the one who's playing against an undefeated team right now," Jack says, as I silently pay Snipe my 100 dollars in rent after landing on his space with a hotel. "Usually when we play Monopoly you get super competitive, but you've been quiet the entire night. What's up?"

I shrug and pass the dice to Race. "I don't know, I'm just nervous. I guess I caught Spot's disease."

"The only disease you could catch from him is an STD," Crutchy jokes. I grab his little car from the game board and throw it at him. He laughs.

"No, but seriously, I'm scared that they're going to lose. And what's going to happen if they lose. Because Spot puts a ton of pressure on himself," I say.

Jack nods slowly. "Yeah, I've noticed that. Why does he do that?"

"Because the only way he can go to college is on scholarship so he's always trying to be the best," I say.

Race pats my arm. "It's alright, I'm sure we'll win."

     Spot: We lost. 34 to 8.
     Me: That sucks, I'm sorry. You wanna talk about it?
     Spot: Not really right now. We're on the bus, but I think I'm going to shut off my phone for the rest of the night. To take a break, ya know? It has nothing to do with you.
      Me: Okay, that's fine. Text me when you turn it back on, ok?
     Spot: I will. Goodnight Brinley.
     Me: Goodnight, Spot. I'm proud of you, no matter how you played.

"Ready to go home?" Race asks. I told the guys the score, and they looked bummed and started cleaning up the games.

I nod. "Yeah."

Saturday morning, I wake up with a few text messages from Spot.

     Spot: Good morning
     Spot: I hate to do this, but I don't think I'm going to movie night at Crutchy's tonight. I need to take a break and think about next week's football game. I'll see you at school Monday.

I frown.

     Me: Okay... do you want to talk about the game yet???
     Spot: Nah, it's fine. Thanks though.
     Me: C'mon, Spot, talk to me. You can't just blow me off like this.
     Spot: I'm not blowing you off, I'm just taking a break.
     Me: A break from me?
     Spot: What? Brinley, no, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and inability to play football right.
     Me: You play football right. You're amazing at it. One loss doesn't mean you're bad.
     Spot: My focus was off the entire game. Just like all those practices I had a while ago.
     Me: You were off in those practices because of me. So, I'm obviously the reason you're focus was off last night. That's what you're saying right?
     Spot: I never said that. You're blowing things out of proportion, Brinley.
     Me: Maybe I am, but you obviously need a break, so go ahead and skip movie night. Turn off your phone and I'll talk to you on Monday.
     Spot: Brinley, come on.

I sit down my phone and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Alexa, play my Taylor Swift playlist."

"Playing Taylor Swift playlist," Alexa says, before starting a song.

I blew things out of proportion
Now you're blue
Put you in jail for something you didn't do
I pinned your hands behind your back, oh
Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love
Is boxing with no gloves
Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face
And I'm to blame
I need to say

Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow

I burst out laughing at the coincidental timing of the song. I laugh so hard that I start crying. Or I'm actually crying. I laugh/cry so hard that I have to roll over because my stomach hurts so much, but I'm too close to the end of the bed so I fall off, which makes me laugh/cry even harder. When Race comes into my room to check on me, he sees me dying on the floor as Alexa plays Taylor Swift in the background.

Race frowns. "Do I even what to ask?"

I stop laughing and crying enough to answer him. "Probably not."

Race shakes his head and walks away.

"Alexa, pause," I say, causing "I Knew You Were Trouble" to stop playing. I sit up, wiping away my tears and grab my phone. Spot never followed up his "Brinley" text message since I didn't respond. I text him.

     Me: I don't even know what just happened. It's all me and my head. I'm the one who started this, but it's not what I meant. I'm sorry I hurt you. I don't want to do this to you. I don't want to lose this with you, especially over something as simple as a football game. I know the game is important to you. I need to say it's all me, just don't go.

I pause. I need something else. "Alexa, play Afterglow by Taylor Swift." The song starts, and I listen for more of what I can add. When the bridge hits, I continue typing.

     Me: Tell me that you're still mine and we'll be just fine. Even when I lose my mind like before. Tell me it's not my fault and I'm all you want. Even if I break your heart. I don't want to do that, Spot. I just want to be with you, and you're all that matters to me. I know doing good in football so you can go to college is important to you. I respect that. I'm sorry. Please respond when you get the chance.

I sit my phone down and wait two minutes until he texts me back.

     Spot: You're still mine and we'll be just fine, even if you lose your mind. It's not your fault and you're all I want, even if you break my heart. I don't want you to do that either. I appreciate the messages, and I forgive you. I know that it seemed like I was pushing you away, but I wasn't trying to. Also, don't think that I didn't notice that you used Taylor Swift lyrics as an apology😉. 

I smile and shake my head.

     Me: Thank God for Taylor Swift then.

*A/N: hooray I wrote this entire thing and finished it 40 minutes before I needed to post a part- I usually write every day. And I'm sorry I keep using Taylor Swift songs, it's just that she's so amazing and I love her so much. Thanks for reading!*