Awake

Chapter Thirty-Six - Downstairs Again

Ebb wasn't entirely sure what there was between him and Sandy now. Aside from the one kiss, if it could even be called that, there had been nothing. They hadn't mentioned it, even. It might never have happened, except that both of them could feel it floating in the space between them.

Sandy hadn't even confirmed that it was real. He hadn't had to. Ebb had known, from the look on his face when he turned around, somewhere between joy and confusion and, undeniably, fear. And Ebb had looked back and wondered what Sandy might be reading in his face.

But that was all. Sandy had pulled up a chair and they had sat and talked, like they did so many evenings. It felt good to talk to Sandy. He had a way of listening that made you feel like he really did want to hear what you had to say, and a way of answering that altered your own ideas without you even noticing. Ebb couldn't remember the last time another person's company had been of any worth to him.

But Ebb feared that he had offered up something he couldn't take back, in that one impulsive word. He wasn't necessarily good at reading the emotions of other people but Sandy wore all his like a cloak, or a crown. He didn't bother to veil them or drape them in mist, to keep anything private.

Ebb feared that Sandy may care far more about him than Ebb was able to return.

Because he liked Sandy. There was no denying that. Having Sandy around was like always having a cushion on hand, a cushion that was able to hold intelligent conversation when you wanted it to. He was a comfort, something to fall back on. Ebb had never had anything like that before.

  Really, though, that was the problem. He had never had anything like this happen to him before. Nobody had ever kissed him. Nobody had ever worn an expression that vulnerable around him before. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't even know what he wanted to do.

It couldn't hurt though, could it? What harm could it ever do, to keep Sandy nearby for conversation and to pick him up and repair him when he overreached himself? It was an indulgence, but when had Ebb ever been one to forgo indulgence? His entire life had been dedicated to it, up until now.

Besides, no one had ever looked at Ebb the way Sandy looked at him: like he was worth the trouble of saving.

By the time they reached the homes of the upstairs servants, Carmen's good mood had died away. She was bone-weary and wished she could have slept long ago. Their conversation had dropped away a long time ago. They trudged in silence, back in safe ground and no longer fearing for being noticed.

When they staggered back into the room of the Six family, they found everyone just starting to get up. The room paused momentarily as they entered, before Pippa broke the silence with a squeal and threw herself at Kevin.

"You're back!" she shrieked. "We were so worried!"

She let go of him and ran to hug Nigs as well. He hugged her back, patting her hair absently.

"Mama?" Kevin let his mother pull him to her. "We need to take them back downstairs with us."

Mama didn't argue. She just nodded once and let him go.

"Glad you came home safely, reprobate," she said, gently. "I was scared for you."

Kevin smiled a little. "I'm alright. You knew I would be."

"I'm your mother," Mama said, severely. "We have our doubts about our children."

"I'm home, I'm safe, I'm well," Kevin said, as if she might have missed any of that. "It's all going to be ok. How long till we move downstairs?"