TW: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Tracy
I close the door slowly, trying not to make any noise so I won't wake Tori up. "Tracy?" She yawns, sitting up in bed. "Did I wake up again?" I groan, annoyed that this happened for a second time.
"Sorta but I was trying to stay up and wait for you. What took you so long?" She laughs, rubbing her eyes. "Found my papa awake, we talked for a while." I laugh, not feeling as tired anymore. "Oh? Was it anything I should know about?" She teases, grabbing hold of my arm and dragging me into bed next to her.
"Fucking satan Tori you gotta stop grabbing onto my arm suddenly like that!" I laugh, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. "I wanted to hold you!" She laughs, throwing the pillow off the bed and hugging me.
"Really? What made you like this all of a sudden?" I tease, kissing her forehead. "You know me, I like physical touch." She laughs, burying her face in my neck. The room goes silent for a bit before the sound of Emis snoring scares us.
"Fucking hell has the girl always snored like that?" I laugh, running my fingers through Toris soft fur. "Yeah, this is why I always ask if I can spend the night with you instead, that girl is loud." She laughs.
"Ok don't tell anyone but what if we go to the living world? I don't know about you but I'm not that tired anymore." I laugh, pulling out the asmodean crystal aunt Charlie gave me. "Woah, that thing is pretty."
"I know, and aunt Charlie made it into a necklace so I don't have to keep it in my pocket." I laugh, stepping out of bed and into my slippers. "Do you really think this is a good idea? We have school in a few hours." Tori groans.
"It's a horrible idea but we could just ditch school, it's not like they're gonna call my parents or aunt Charlie." I laugh, grabbing a coat from the closet. "Fine but just this one time, only because I'm not tired anymore." She laughs, grabbing hold of my hand.
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Tori
"Y'know knowing that I'm rotting underground is really creepy." I flinch, looking down at my gravestone. "Lucky me I won't be doing that." Tracy laughs, patting my back.
"I thought hellborn demons die after a few hundred years." I look over at her confused. "It's different for demons who's parents are sinners, they get their immortality." Tracy laughs, placing a flower on my grave stone.
"Does that mean you'll grow old at some point?" I ask, still really confused about all this. "I honestly don't know how to answer that, I mean my cousin is 24 so clearly you do get older." Tracy sighs, rubbing her hands together.
"Hey Tracy can I ask you something?" I sigh, wondering if I should really be asking her this right now.
"Sure?" She laughs nervously. "When we were talking earlier..you know about your suicide attempt, you sorta closed off. Not that there's anything wrong with that I get why but when I asked if you were planning on trying again you just cut the conversation short. Why?"
She looks up at the sky, tears in her eyes. The only sound around us being the sound of crickets chirping and owls hooting. "I guess even after getting papa back, I always thought these thoughts would go away but that wasn't the case." She laughs, wiping the tears from her eyes with her sleeve.
I look at her, not even knowing what to say in a situation like this. "I'm not planning on trying again, it's just the thought of it. Something about it seems so peaceful, to go to sleep and never wake up." She laughs through tears.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, reaching over and holding her hand. "I didn't want to be a burden, I've never really talked about this to anyone, not even my therapist. I don't want to end up in some hospital, to feel like something is wrong with me even though I know there is."
"Tracy, nothing is wrong with you, you're suffering. Sometimes people..or demons go through a hard time and that's ok and while yeah therapy can be tiring, hiding how you feel is so much worse." I sigh, tears running down my cheeks.
"I'm just so tired." She sobs, hugging me tightly. "I know Tracy." I sigh, releasing quiet sobs. "I'm sorry if I bothered you." She groans, burning her face in my neck. "Hey you don't have to apologize, I'm you girlfriend. That means I'm going to be here to support you whether you like it or not." I laugh, wiping my tears with my sleeve.
"Is that a threat or a promise?" She laughs through tears. "Honestly a little bit of both." I laugh as I feel something cold at my feet. I look down seeing..snow? "What the fuck!?" I yell, falling back, dragging Tracy down with me, a scream leaving her mouth.
"Oh..that." She laughs nervously, an awkward smile on her face. "Tracy, explain!" I yell, moving away from the small pile of snow. "Ok so..I'm cursed and have crazy ice now." She mutters quickly, closing her eyes shut.
"I'm sorry what!?" I yell, looking back over at the snow. "Is that why you started wearing those gloves?" I ask, trying to catch my breath. "Yeah but they're cute aren't they?" She laughs. "I thought that was a fashion choice!" I yell.
"Oh I wish." She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "You don't mind this do you?" She asks, looking over at me nervously. "No..NO!" I yell, fearing I may have hurt her feelings. "It's just a surprise." I laugh, moving back over to the snow, grabbing a handful and making a snowball.
"Tori." Tracy warns, covering her face with her hands. "Too bad!" I yell, throwing the snowball at her, quickly getting up and running away into the woods. "You're so dead!" She yells in the distance.
"I already am!" I laugh as she catches up, jumping on top of me. "You really don't mind the crazy ice thing?" She laughs, still trying to catch her breath. "Of course not! What's the worst that could happen?" I laugh as it suddenly goes quiet.
It's only one that I realized the position we're in. Tracy's on top of me having pinned my arms above my head. "Sorry!" She yells, promptly getting off of me. "Don't be sorry, get over here!" I laugh, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down.
"Tori!" She whines, resting her head on my chest. "You gotta give me some warning!" She laughs, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Nope!" I yell, pulling her closer to me. "Why are we like this?" She groans.
"Honestly no idea." I laugh, cupping her cheek in my hand.
A/N
Early chapter yes. Anyways if you didn't see my message board, there's a new book coming tomorrow since December is going to be slow in terms of chapters. The next chapter will be the last until CHRISTMAS EVE. I cannot stress how sorry I am it worked out this way, but I wasn't about to make a 30 chapter book, that's going to be the next book. Love ya <3
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