Arranged (Kazuha x Fem!reader)

Kuki Shinobu

Kuki's POV

Oh my fucking god, boss...why. I've been trying to avoid that stupid detective for the longest time now. I'd rather babysit the gang. I wonder what pickup line he's going to use on me this time. He never seems to run out of new ones. I stormed into the prison and saw him standing there. Shikanion Heizou himself...swirling the prison keys around his finger while my boss, Itto, sat behind bars.

'Well, well, well, Shinobu! We meet again~.'

'Let my boss go, Shikanion.' I said impatiently

'Well, someone's in a hurry today. No "hello, Shikanion" or "I'm sorry about my boss."' he said

'I have to meet some people, and I can't be late.' I said, frowning at him

'Oho~ Who are they?'

'None of your business.'

Heizou looked at the boss, who shrugged in response. I haven't told anyone that I was meeting the newlywed Kaedehara couple. They really urged that I keep it to myself.

'Well, your boss got himself arrested again for causing a rampage.'

'Boss, please don't tell me you were in search of -'

'She owes me a rematch!' he argued

I rubbed my temples in annoyance. I checked the clock too, and my meeting was in five minutes! Well, shit.

'My Shinobu...you look so stressed.' Heizou said with a smirk, 'You do know you have some paperw-'

'You can keep him.' I said bluntly

'WHAT!?' Heizou and the boss said at the same time

'For the time being. I'm getting late for an appointment.' I said, 'Shikanion, I-I'll consider this a favor! Thanks again.'

'W-Wait SHINOBU!?' I heard his voice say as I stormed out

(Y/n)'s POV

Kazuha and I waited awkwardly for Kuki Shinobu to show up. She was late...at least ten minutes now.

'Is she going to come or not?' I asked, feeling a bit impatient

'She'll be here w-' Kazuha began

'Sorry, I'm late.' a new voice said, and we turned to see her enter

She looked annoyed and tired as she rubbed her temples

'That stupid detective wouldn't shut up, and the boss was getting in trouble again as usual.' she explained

'I agree with that.' I said, chuckling, 'Heizou can be quite talkative.'

'So, how can I help you two? Shouldn't you two be on your honeymoon or something?' she asked us with an eyebrow raised.

Kazuha and I froze before clearing our throats with our cheeks red. I sighed before speaking up.

'About our wedding...' I began, 'It's all fake.'

'What?!' she said, sounding a bit surprised before regaining her cool and calm composure

'It's a long story.' Kazuha said, 'We need your help Shinobu.'

'How can I help you?' she asked us confused.

'We want to make a contract, and well, you're a lawyer, right?'

'Can't you get some normal lawyer to do this for you?'

'We can't because everyone else thinks this is real...including our brothers.'

I lied about the last part because Kazuha didn't know that they knew. At least, I don't think he knew. Even if he did, it didn't matter because it would help sell it more. Anything to keep this a secret.

'Haruhiro and Tomo are strong people.' Kazuha said, 'If they knew, it would be bad for the both of us. They'll expose us or tell our fathers.'

'Hiro wouldn't do that.' I said, frowning at Kazuha

'You don't know that.' Kazuha responded

'I know my brother! More than you do! Who knows, maybe Tomo would expose us?' I argued

'Tomo wouldn't.' Kazuha said

Kazuha and I were about to argue when Shinobu cleared her throat, catching our attention.

'Why are you coming to me in particular? I'm not a professional lawyer.'

'We know you aren't, and that is the perfect reason. You have a degree from Liyue and know all the parts of the law, but you're not a professional lawyer. So you won't get into trouble, and our secret is safer!'

She rubbed her temples, seeing them extremely tired.

'Alright, I'll do it...but what's in it for me?'

'Name your price, and we'll pay.'

'No, I don't want money.' she said sternly. 'I want you to make sure the Arataki Gang doesn't get into trouble.'

'Isn't that your job?'

'I need a break too. So if you want me to write you this contract, you'll have to babysit the gang and deal with Shinkanion.' she responded calmly. 'It's not like it'll be tough for you (Y/n).'

'What's that supposed to mean?' I asked, getting a bit defensive

'You visit him so often, don't you?' she responded. 'You're there almost all the time. I see you every time I come to get the boss out of prison.'

Kazuha's POV

I noticed how she froze. She started fiddling with her sleeve, a nervous habit of hers. I'd picked up on that when I saw her at the event that night. Whenever she was nervous or sad, she'd play with her sleeve.

'Y-You must've mistaken me for someone else.' she said quickly

'I'm pretty sure it was you. I won't pry into it because I honestly don't care. So, do we have a deal?'

'Yes, we do.' I responded, and she nodded

'Alright then...we'll meet here tomorrow to get the draft made.'

'Tomorrow?'

'I have a boss to deal with. Urgh and a stupid detective.' she responded. 'He'll be pretty whiny by now.'

She nodded, and we walked out. Once (Y/n) and I were alone, I spoke up.

'You and Detective Heizou seem to have an interesting relationship.' I said nonchalantly

'What? Oh please don't tell me you're jealous?' she asked with an eyebrow raised

'Just curious. If you two are really dating, you can tell me. I don't care...our marriage is fake, remember.'

Her eyes widened as her cheeks went pink.

'What? Oh god, please don't be like everyone else!' she said, crossing her arms. 'Heizou and I are friends! What is with people assuming if a girl and a guy are friends, they are secret lovers or just lovers in general!?'

'I-I'm not trying to assume, but if it's true, then I do-'

'Kazuha, please! I've never had a lover before. You're the closest thing I have to a lover!'

She crossed her arms, upset, and I couldn't help but feel bad. I didn't mean to piss her off like that.

'I'm sorry.' I tried

'Whatever.' she said walking away

Well shit Kazuha, day one and you pissed your wife off.