Mama Knows Best

"Where's the fun ?"

I'm up once again before my alarm clock has a chance to wake me. I've always sworn my mind was greatest asset but only recently has it seemed to be nothing more than another enemy.

I'm tired. Actually scratch that. Exhausted but like every other night this week I couldn't seem to get nothing more than two or three hours of sleep. My first week of my junior year had only just started a few days ago but it was already welcoming me with a bang. I rub my eyes groggily as I cross my room and examine myself in the full length mirror that hangs on my closet door. Slowly I turn, taking the time to examine breast, waist, legs, thighs and ass trying to find any noticeable different but everything looks normal.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm paranoid.

Slowly I lift the edge of my tank top and slid it carefully up to expose the skin of stomach to the cool air. I touch my skin with my fingertips carefully as if I'm afraid of being burnt by my own flesh. I watch my fingers trace my toned abdomen and finally cover my belly button with the palm of my head.

It's only a week. I remind myself just as my alarm begins to go off. I run a hand through my thick black curls before letting out a puff of hot hair and heading to reset the alarm.

I've never been one to care too much about my appearance and unlike most people who go to my high school I've always known that school didn't revolve around who wore this and who wore that. I open my closet door and grab the first thing I can find which ends up being a simple pair of jeans and a plan cotton t-shirt with this floral design on it. I slip on my old worn shoes and grab my backpack from its spot at the foot of my bed.

Our apartment is small and when I say small I mean small. It's barely big enough to fit the two bedrooms it does have. Mom sleeps on the couch so me and my brother can have our own space and she's been doing it since I started high school.

I head down the hallway I find her usual blankets already folded up neatly. It smells like coffee and I find Mama sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup and staring at what I assume is another stack of bills.

"Morning Pepper" she calls between her sips. I swear the women never misses a beat.

"Morning Mama." I reply as I head towards the fridge in search of this morning's breakfast. The fridge is almost empty like it always is before Mom's paychecks and I bite my lip quickly deciding that I don't have much of an appetite. I decide to just settle with some a glass of orange juice and I pray it'll be enough to get me through the morning. I sit the carton on the countertop while I go to retrieve a clean glass.

"I got you some of those muffins you like from that bakery downtown." Mama smiles as I notice them sitting on the counter.

"Why don't you have a few?" I look at them for a few moments considering chowing down on a few but even the idea of blueberry muffins this early in the morning is enough to make my stomach ache,

"I'll eat something from school." I lie as I shake my head. There's a loud groan followed by the sound of a door shutting and seconds later my brother, Jamel, decides to grace us with his presence. He's dressed in his usual polo and jeans and he's sporting another new pair of shoes. I watch my mom eye his exposed boxers and his new kicks already knowing the thoughts that are running through her head.

"Jamel pull them pants up."

Jamel pretends not hear her as he snatches up my carton of orange juice and brings it greedily to his lips.

"Mornin Mama," he slurs between gulps.

"Don't morning Mama me pull them pants up. This ain't the streets Jamel and I'll be damned if we gon pretend like this is." Jamel rolls his eyes as Mama gives him another warning look before he finally yanks his pants up in defeat. I take the moment to snatch back my orange juice and begin to fill my glass. Against my better judgement I decide not to fill my glass and instead hand the remaining juice back to him.

"Next time use a glass to Jamel." Mama says sternly.

"Yea, I don't know where you mouth been" I laugh.

"Between a few legs." He grins as he rubs the fresh stubble under his chin. Mama drops whatever she's been reading and begins shaking her head and clapping her lips.

"Jamel keep testing me and I'll give you a few things to laugh about "she warns. I bit my lip to keep from laughing as Mama adjusts her apron and collared shirt.

Mama didn't ever bother with makeup but since the day I was old enough to remember she had always been beautiful. Jamel and I had sworn as little kids that she could have been a model if she wanted to.

She traps a fly away strand of her hair, pinning it behind her ear as she grabs her purse off the table. She gives us both quick hugs and kisses as she heads towards the door.

"Hot date tonight Mama?" I joke as she tries to hide the smile that grows on her lips.

"Nah baby girl not tonight just a long day at the diner. Ya'll don't wait up okay; I'm working a double." She calls as she heads out the door. When I hear the door click I turn and look at Jamel.

"You're disgusting and I'd rather not know what you do during your spare time" I groan rubbing my temples.

"Or who" I quickly added.

"Maybe a few of your friends." He jokes as I roll my eyes.

"I doubt that considering none of them would give you the time of day and here's some advice some advice though. If you're planning on being a comedian after high school I would definitely reconsider."

"That's debatable." Jamel replies as he finishes off the last of the orange juice.

"Not really."

"You love me." He laughs as he checks the time on his watch and I simultaneously check the clock on the oven.

"Now that's debatable."

"Well I think we should go I've got a few bad bitches waiting for me in the parking lot. Gotta keep my ladies happy. Give'em what they want ya know."

"You're not going to eat" I ask as I retrieve my things and follow him towards the door.

"It's an all you can buffet there." He winks as he tugs his keys out of his back pocket. I roll my eyes as I run another hand through my hair. I watch him lock and check the door and then we head down towards the corner of the street where the bus stops.

"Can we have one morning where you can be like normal older brothers and not force the explicit details of your nonexistent sex life on your sister?"

"Nah, where' the fun in that. And let me straighten you out Pep. It ain't been a week when I wasn't hittin something."

"See this is what I mean" I groan throwing my hand up in defeat "Why do you love making me miserable?"

He laughs, "It's the best part of my day gurl."