Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
⋆ epilogue ⋆
Some stories are beautiful, even if they're incomplete.
However, it's the best stories that keep you lingering, thinking about them even days after you've put down the book. It's the longing stares to reread as if it's your first time all over again, forget the ending and skip to all of the good parts, annotating which bits you loved and forgetting the bits you hated.
That's what life was like for Peter Parker when he looked at Xara Connolly. A book he wishes he could pick up off the shelf again just to catch a glimpse of the beautiful stories inside once more.
Then again, life was always tantalisingly out of reach for Peter. Just as high school was getting better, Uncle Ben died. Just as he thought he could be happy with Xara at college, Aunt May died and Xara forgot all about him. He had to hold those he loved at arm's length, and feel the pain himself in the process.
When he looked at Mr Stark's life, it seemed so great. There was no one better for Peter to look up to as a child. After all, he was a billionaire, and he was a superhero. He did things for the greater good, saved lives, and it was all Peter wanted to do when he grew up.
Then he was bitten by that spider on a school trip and got the life he wanted. But it didn't go the way he wanted to, and that's when he realised all the things Mr Stark never showed.
Being a superhero isn't the greatest. It's the most painful. It means letting go of the things you love to give them a chance at life, free from the tainted grasp of your own. It means pain and nightmares and hating everything about yourself till it completely overcomes you, but having to keep the smile on every single day.
When Mr Stark finally married Pepper, Peter was surprised to find out. He was shocked to meet Morgan. How was it possible for a superhero – who was always busy, always in danger – to have a family? Some semblance of a normal life?
That's when it dawned on Peter that he didn't have a normal life. He just pretended for a while, then he died to protect his family.
What if it wasn't Peter that died? What if it was Xara?
Peter would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to Xara. Even after all these precautions, jumping through all these hoops, he's terrified that something will happen without him knowing about it, and the world will laugh at his misfortune once more.
It makes it worse that Xara remembers some of it. Nothing about Peter, but about Spider-Man, the more dangerous parts of what they did and what they were like.
He glances up at the sound of her delighted laugh, watching as Xara slides off the stool and starts jumping around excitedly with another girl. Peter doesn't recognise her, eyebrows furrowed as he watches them hug and dance around together, Ned joining in as MJ watches fondly from behind the counter, pretending to work so she doesn't get into trouble.
There's no space for Peter in their friendship, already replaced by someone else. But – at the glimpse of her NYU acceptance letter on the counter, just opened – she's finally starting to get the life she wanted. She's finally following her own dreams.
And Peter has to follow his own.
He glances back at the table, his own NYU acceptance letter on display.
Dear Peter Parker,
On behalf of the admissions committee, it is my honour and privilege to share with you that you have been admitted to the Biochemistry program at New York University...
Maybe he can fool himself into thinking he's protecting her. In a way, he is. But he knows for a fact that this is because he's not quite ready to let her go yet. Not for a while.
But this way, he can see what her life is like. He can see she's better without him. He can know that she'll be okay.
