Stillness

Chapter 9

Ash knew he could've left earlier. Cecile convinced him that he had to stay and heal. But he lost a whole hand before, it's not like he would bleed to death on the road. He'd find a way to survive, he always did. After he decided to stay, after she took care of him and listened to him, he realized he didn't want to go. He didn't feel pain anymore, it had been a while since any pain had come from the wound. Cecile was right, he could just go away. Hearing this from her was more difficult than he thought, though. The way she talked back to him, it felt like any care and any feeling she's ever had was suddenly gone. He went back to his room, and thought for a second that fighting Deadites was easier than... dealing with that.

He opened his chest, and looked at the content. Gold coins wouldn't do much in that particular case. His old raggedy clothes were there, still stained with blood. The boomstick and some ammo, and the Necronomicon. That stupid book started it all. Ash rolled his eyes and closed the heavy chest. He sat on his bed thinking that saying sorry would be the best choice. He was deeply sorry indeed, but he always had to pretend not to care, shrugging the discomfort of others away. It was for the best, but at what cost? He knew he hurt a lot of people in the way, but he left before they could react most of the time. When he met Sheila they fought, but they made up pretty fast. He had to leave her in the end, but she knew it was for the best.

It was just reality creeping in. The reality that Ash was mentally unwell and that the Deadites were responsible for taking not just his loved ones but his sanity. Part of that sanity was concern for others, his tact was now nonexistent. He was rude and unpleasant, some would even say straight to the point. But none of these bad traits would win Cecile back. In fact they were the cause of her indifference. He had to apologize, as much as he hated it. He needed to take accountability, the accountability he never took when he read the Necronomicon and later raising an army of the dead. He got back down and went straight to her room, knocking on the door. His chances could be below zero but he had to try.

He knocked on the door. Silence. It had been like thirty minutes. Was she sleeping already...?

She opened the door and stared at him. She was a bit shorter and had to look up. Ash didn't hesitate.

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I'm sorry for all of that."

She was wearing a nightgown. A silk, soft nightgown. She looked gorgeous, and it was distracting. Ash already had difficulty in admitting his wrongdoings, so the sight of her made him weirdly anxious. She didn't seem furious, but she wasn't that friendly either. She was holding the door with one hand, in a position in which she could close it on his face with one single movement.

"Be more specific."

Ash sighed. "Listen, I have to go. I don't wanna be here. If I stay here, they'll come after you."

"Who?"

"The Deadites. They follow me, because I have that fucking book with me. And I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know how to defend myself." Now Cecile seemed annoyed.

Ash got slightly angry. He shook his head. "It's not like you think it is."

Cecile opened the door fully. "Then why don't you explain to me?"

"Because I'm trying and you keep being an asshole."

"Oh, just like you!" She frowned.

Ash then barged through the door and Cecile had no choice but to back away and give way as he stomped into the bedroom. She fell sitting on the bed.

"Look." He pointed at her, way closer this time. He was firm, but he was also annoyed. "I lost a lot of people, and I just don't wanna lose you."

"What do you mean?"

"I really like you." He sighed, now his expression became a lot softer. "And this thing won't mind it. And then I'll have to lose someone again and I just can't do it anymore."

"Why didn't you tell me since the beginning? Did you have to treat me like shit to get your point across?"

"Yeah." Ash felt worse than before. "Then you'd kick me out and be safe."

"I'll slay whatever is out there. Trust me."

Ash sighed. "You can't. To banish them you have to read the book, and I don't speak Sumerian."

"Let's get it then." Cecile starts to walk to the door.

Ash didn't have a choice but to hold her in place. He was bigger than her and by doing that, he'd prevent another catastrophe. He had confused feelings and holding her like that aroused him in the strangest way. He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. As she tried to free herself, he caught a glimpse of her breasts. He could see her hard nipples through the fabric of her nightgown. He closed his eyes and looked away, trying to think about something else. They were so close that Ash could smell her hair, the scent of her soft skin. It was so overwhelming to the point it was unbearable. He tried to look back at her and the moment they locked eyes, she kissed him.

Now they had kissed before, but that kiss felt a lot... more passionate. Cecile put her hands over Ash's chest, and her touch caused goosebumps all over his body. He slowly let go of her arms to caress her face, gently. She took the opportunity to slightly push him out of the way and run to the door, presumably to get the Necronomicon.

Ash sensed what she was going to do, ran to her and held her by the waist, lifting her up in the air and bringing her back to bed. She tried to free herself from his embrace but he was too strong. He decided then to put his left hand on her neck and push her to lay in bed. He held her there, looking at her in the eyes and she didn't protest. She looked like a magnificent painting, hair spread over the soft sheets of the bed, arms gently placed on the sides of her face. It seemed like the moment lasted for an eternity, until she spoke.

"God, Ash. Just fuck me."

That was all she managed to say, and how could he say no to her?