I Don't Deserve This (Unedited)

Chapter 3 ~ What happens now?

What happens when you spend so long in survival mode it's all you know?

You forget what it feels like to be truly happy...

I'm so focused on the feeling of being surrounded on all sides by people who love me and want me to smile I don't even notice when our separated alter gets taken from the room.

"Looks like Jace missed the opportunity to oggle our beautiful purple friend." Seida chuckles after she closes the door. We all chuckle and wipe at the tears in our eyes.

"I'm sure I'll see them again. It'll be nice to see them when I can keep my head on straight." I chuckle.

"Honey do you remember when we met Ali?" Cali chuckles. "You spent so long trying to get up the nerve to ask her out that she just kissed us one day and you were frozen so long you missed the bus ride home after school." The room erupts into laughter around me again.

"Oh my god I can't believe you remember that. It feels like it happened so long ago." I laugh.

"Alright everyone." Lily chuckles as she tries to calm down so she can walk us through what happens next. "So does anyone else wish to be separated from the group?" She asks softly and Justin clings to me shaking his head. I shake my head and hear a quiet chorus of the others saying they'd like to stay. "Alright kids." She quietly gathers the glove and scissors that seem to be glowing softly now, and deposits them back into the bag she took them out of. She hands the bag to Seida and gives her a hug before whispering something in her ear. Seida nods and whispers back before heading for the door.

"Goodbye my lovelies I'll see you another time." Seida waves goodbye and blows us kisses on her way out. Cali watches her with a reverence that tells me what's going through her head.

"Ok everyone so now we're going to head through here and I'll take you through to a kind of apartment where you'll be staying for a little while." Lily opens a door at the front of the room and nods for us to join her. "We're just waiting for the connection between you and the others to completely dissipate before we move anyone to where they'll be staying until they're ready to continue in their journey." Lily guides us down the hallway and through a door into a small apartment. It's absolutely beautiful. It seems to have things we all enjoy. Stuffed animals that I love and some that I don't recognize. Huge buckets of Legos, a TV with a couple of game systems, decor that incorporates a couple of different colors. The walls are all a soft purple. Lily smiles softly as we all take it in.

"You each have your own rooms and the longer you guys are in here the more you'll be able to move around on your own. This next stage might be uncomfortable at first but after some time you'll all start to fall into a groove and you'll learn to move about and function on your own." She looks around at us for a little bit before she nods and wipes at her cheeks. My heart breaks as I realize we might not see her for a while.

"When will we get to see you again?" Justin asks. He hops down from my arms and charges Lily to wrap her in a hug. She catches him and hugs him back. We all crowd around her, hugging her tightly, wishing she could stay.

"I'll be back to visit you everyday." She says as we hug her tightly.

"You promise?" Summer asks.

"Of course." Lily sniffles and wipes her tears away again before stepping back. She waves goodbye and blows us kisses before stepping out.

"What now?" I ask.

"Let's play with Legos!" Justin charges to the Legos and we all sit around the bin, making different little buildings and contraptions.