I Don't Deserve This (Unedited)

Chapter 2 ~ Confused

They said I'd be burning in hell for trying to be myself.
They said I'd burn in hell for being bi.
They said hell was worse than I could imagine.
I never believed them

I open my eyes to find myself sitting in a pew. The building I find myself in seems older than any church I've ever been in.

Surprisingly this isn't the worst situation I've woken up in. I rub my eyes for a second, debating just going back to sleep when someone taps my shoulder.

"Hey Jace." I sit up straight, terrified to look behind me.

That voice.

I shake my head.

I know that voice.

I slowly turn in my seat to find a collection of people sitting behind me. They all seem to be connected by a thin blue string. It glows faintly and is lightly wrapped around their necks, before leading to mine. I set my hand on my neck to find a small thin string tied there. I tug at it and find it doesn't hurt but it's surprisingly strong. It feels like steel but moves like satin or thread.

"Who are you?" I ask. The one closest to me gives me a sad smile, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I never wanted you to find out this way." She sets her hand on my shoulder. "My name Is Cali. I'm kind of like your guardian angel."

I turn back to facing forward and stand.

"Nope, I've gone completely insane." I walk towards where the pews seem to be facing. I ignore the string tugging on my neck and break into a run.

"Dude slow down!" A voice calls from behind me. "Don't forget you're dragging us behind you by our necks!"

"There are kids back here man!" Another voice calls and I stop and squeeze my eyes shut.

"I'm dreaming. I've got to be dreaming." I pinch myself as hard as I can and-

"Hello?" A soft voice sounds in front of me. I shake my head, smiling with relief, I must've fallen asleep in class. I'm being woken up to get to my next final. I open my eyes to see a woman in a hijab, her eyes bore into mine. Curiosity and concern mar her beautiful features. "Are you ok?"

"No." I blurt out. "I don't think so-" I cut myself off again. "I don't know." I take a few rapid breaths while clutching at my hair. "What's going on? Where am I?!" I shriek, only now noticing how deep my voice is. I freeze touching my throat, surprised to find an Adams apple there. Where one always should've formed but never did. I touch my chest to find that the lumps of fat tissue I'd unsuccessfully tried to hide for years, were gone. "What happened?"

"Come with me." The woman smiles at me with a sad look of knowing, and guides me to a desk at the front of the pews. The ones behind me follow me easily this time, my feet drag as my mind tries to keep up with what's going on. She sits behind the desk and picks up a collection of files. "You must be Jace." She states, smiling at me.

"I- what?" My confusion intensifies and I feel as though I'm inches from passing out.

"Jace... Originally named Alice, Mary, Camp?" She pauses looking between me and the others behind me. "Your chosen name is Jace right?" She asks before looking down at the file in confusion, as though she's worried it's wrong in some way.