Take to the Skies

Chapter Twelve

He nodded, wrapping his hands around his cup. I took a deep breath and continued, "I just wanted to say sorry. It was wrong of me, to just push myself on you in the way that I did."

He tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows bunching together. His face hadn't visibly changed, but it felt like his energy had, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Pres. I mean, I kissed you too."

I internally flinched, worried someone would overhear, but nodded, "I know. I know," I repeated, unsure of how to continue this, "but, Tucker, I- I just-"

"Are you trying to tell me you don't want to be friends with me anymore?" he asked. He was still keeping eye contact with me, but his smile was gone.

I shook my head immediately, "No, I don't want to stop being friends with you-"

"You just want to forget what happened?"

All the air escaped my lungs. Or at least, that's what it felt like. He wasn't being mean, accusatory, or anything that would justify aggressive retaliation. He was just trying to understand what I wanted, and I was drowning in my attempts to tell him.

Because you want something more

"No, Tucker, that's not it, either. I just, I, I don't know," I admitted with a sigh, running my hands over my face. Might as well be as transparent as I can be, "I've honestly never been in a situation like this before, and I don't want to drag you along, or lead you on, and then hurt you if it doesn't work out." Or lose you, I added silently.

Tucker nodded thoughtfully. He wasn't easy to read, and my leg started bouncing from the uncertainty of his response. "I understand," he said finally, and raised his cup to take a sip. His words hurt my chest for a reason I didn't understand.

After your little confession, you can't have expected him to say he wants to be with you. Be real, Preston.

"So, you're not completely closed off to the idea of something more?" he asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I felt my eyes widen with minor shock. I had to have heard him wrong. His eyes staring at me waiting for a response made me realize I did not.

"Well," I started, trying to think of a response while staring down at the table, "well, no. I'm not," I answered honestly, looking back up to meet his eyes.

"Okay," he said, nodding, "Well, while you figure out what you want, would you want to hang out tonight? You know, with Halloween, and all."

His demeanor was slightly shy, and it took me aback. The fact that he still wanted to even be friends with me was slightly shocking, much less want to spend Halloween with me. There was a voice at the back of my head, telling me not to say yes. But there was an even louder voice, one that understood how hard it was to say no to his beautiful face.

"Yeah," I said, "that sounds fun."

No harm in hanging out with a friend, who I just happened to have kissed.

His smile returned to his face, melting my insides instantly. "Really?" he asked. I nodded, "Yeah, I love Halloween. What do you want to do?"

"Well, my parents will be gone for most of the night. Wanna watch scary movies?" he asked, running a hand through his hair, "You can bring Eli with you, too," he added.

I shook my head, "Nah, he didn't feel too good when he woke up this morning. Scary movies sound like the best way to spend the night, though. Are you sure it's okay?"
The question was meant to just reaffirm I could intrude on whatever plans he'd had for the night, but it had a double meaning I hoped he'd pick up on. I didn't want him to get into anything misleading.