Stage Hearts: The Derek Diaries 2

Chapter 16

Please don't let me be sick tomorrow.  Please let me be okay enough to at least feign some semblance of normalcy when Hannah, Oliver, and Randy walk through that door.  I don't want to be too weak to properly wish Hannah a happy nineteenth birthday.  

I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.  My guess is that five days so far of sickness are just taking their toll on my body.  Every time I think I'm starting to feel a bit better, I crash again, and I have a feeling that I'm not getting out of here in a week like they think I am.  Something tells me it's going to be at least another two weeks until they set me free from this hospital.  

I look at the clock, seeing it's just after eleven at night.  I've been sleeping on and off for a few hours.  I talked to Morgan until around half past seven, getting to know her a bit more, until I was too physically tired to keep talking and signed off.  

My room is silent except for the drone of the heart monitor and the hum of various machines.  I can see and hear the quiet bustle of nurses outside in the halls.  My mind is flooded with memories of the last eight months, of times past with Hannah and Oliver, how much they've grown together.

I remember back when Courtney came to Kaya's apartment to tell me about them.  Kaya and I had just finished a show and were enjoying pizza at her place and playing with her cats when Courtney called me, asking if she could come over.  Of course, we told her to join the party.  She was there within ten minutes, and she excitedly told us how Oliver had reunited her with her little friend from the daycare she used to work at and how they'd been cast in the first high school production of Chain Breaker.  I immediately agreed to come to Maryland with her, and thus began one of the most wild and wonderful adventures of my life.

I can try, but I don't think I'll ever forget my first meeting with Oliver and Hannah.  They were beside themselves with shock when I entered their high school auditorium, and Oliver was almost too stunned to say hello.  He was actually the one who introduced Hannah to me.  When I first met Oliver, I knew right away I had a brother and friend for the rest of my life.  And when I met Hannah, I met one of the most incredible people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Courtney has always told us stories of Hannah's childhood in rehearsal.  She told us tales of how much Hannah loved being onstage with the daycare's drama program actors.  She reminisced on how Hannah has been a highly talented dancer from the age of two.  She wondered aloud about when and how Hannah's singing abilities took flight, as she never doubted for a second that they were there.  When I came face to face with the then eighteen-year-old Hannah McFloyd, she was everything Courtney ever dreamed she'd grow up to be and more.  And now, I have the privilege of celebrating a birthday with her for the first time.

It shouldn't be this way.  Hannah should have started out her birthday week going into the city with Oliver and I, not sobbing into Oliver's arms in a hospital waiting room while I nearly died in surgery.  She shouldn't have to come here to see me.  I should be driving to her college to pick her, Oliver, and Morgan up for a night out to celebrate her day.  

Well, at least some good has come out of this whole ordeal.

Morgan and I are developing a nice, healthy friendship, talking regularly.  I text her good morning every day, and she sends me a cat meme in response.  I usually send her random cat memes and edits throughout the day when I'm up for it to make her smile, and from what I can tell, she's loving it.  On the other hand, she's also hit it off with Kaya.  They've already become fast friends, and I can tell they're probably going to remain friends for life.  Even if Morgan and I don't work out as a couple, I hope she'll keep Kaya's friendship forever.  

According to the musical group chat, Oliver is absolutely thriving in his understudy role as Enso.  He and Hannah have both been quick to adapt to their new jobs, and they've also picked up on the inside jokes that the cast has.  I was afraid that I'd overburden them, as they're both students in addition to being actors, but they're crushing it.  I'm immensely proud of both of them.  They're both working so hard to make this possible.  I'm doing my best to stay on top of them and make sure they're not burning themselves out.  Evidently, the rest of the cast is doing that, too.  Jared Clarke, also known as King Tanu, is helping them with some general classwork during free time to make sure they're able to keep up with their classes, but he's also giving them advice for balancing work, school, and life.  From what I've heard, they are following his counsel and doing amazing.  

Tonight, a combination of pain and excitement prevent me from sleeping.  I wish I could fast forward time to reach tomorrow early, so that I could hopefully see Hannah while I'm feeling well enough to give her and Oliver my full attention.  Then I remember I'm also seeing Kaya tomorrow, too; Kaya is going to drop off  the Enso doll Oliver and I teamed up to get for Hannah first thing in the morning.  I need to be in top shape.  

But as I try to shift into a new position to try to relax and get to sleep, pain rocks my body, shooting through my stitches.  I keep forgetting I can't sleep on my side right now.  Defeated, I lay back on my pillow and pull up the blanket.  

As I lay here, helpless and uncomfortable, one of the songs from our musical gets stuck in my head.  "Battle Cry" isn't one of the more popular songs in the musical, but it's sung with only vocals and drums and has a deeply haunting melody with equally haunting lyrics.  Staring at the ceiling, I mutter the first verse, which is Enso's solo, under my breath.

"I wander through the darkened woods

And to the dark I cry

God, if You can hear me now

Please don't let me die."