Stage Hearts: The Derek Diaries 2

Chapter 10

I sincerely hope Oliver and Hannah have had a better day than me.  

I've tried so dang hard to focus on the book.  I've gotten through the first ten chapters when I'm able to stay awake.  I have barely been able to keep my eyes open all afternoon.  I'm pretty sure I slept for the majority of the day after Hannah, Oliver, and Randy left.  At least, that's what the jumble of unread texts on my phone seemed to say when I finally woke up enough to check it around five.  

My WorldChat inbox was packed with people checking on me or tagging me in group project get well messages.  I responded to every single one.  The Chain Breaker group chat was on fire with comments about how good Oliver and Hannah are, and I joined in the conversation for about ten minutes.  I couldn't be prouder of them, and I couldn't be more upset that I won't be there to witness their Broadway debut like I promised I would.  

The truth is, I put on a brave face for them when they come here, because I don't want them to worry any more than they already are.  It's been pretty much forty-eight hours since my near-fatal operation, and I still feel extremely weak and sick.  I'm in pain from my incisions and them pumping my stomach, and it's hard to find a comfortable sleeping position with that stupid drain in there.  I can't even do basic things to take care of myself.  That's how bad this is.

Seriously.

I had to get up to go to the bathroom earlier.  They've been trying to get me up and moving around a little bit, but every time I try to stand up, pain shoots through my stitches and my legs give out.  My body simply does not have the energy nor the strength to walk to the bathroom without help.  The nurses practically have to carry me to the bathroom in my room and back to my bed.  

It's not that I mind the help or am humiliated by it.  I am very much grateful for these nurses and made my mom use my money to get them cookies.  It's the fact that Oliver and Hannah could walk in on that at any point, and that would just add to Oliver's trauma.

I cannot do that to him.  The guy almost watched me die.  He's been through enough.  He's seen enough.  

And then there's the fair maiden Morgan.  

Will I ever see her again?  Will she come see me while I'm here, or after, if at all?  Would she even respond to my unsteady attempts at speaking to her heart?  I am not factoring in the fact that she's already a fangirl at all here.  Fangirl or not, she is someone I need to know.  I want to know her.  I want to love her.  However, I don't want her to feel like she's forced to love me, just because I like her.  I want her to feel safe and loved, because that's what she deserves.

Just then, my phone lights up with a WorldChat notification.  My heart skips a beat when the icon in the corner indicates that it's a DM from none other than Morgan Lane.  

I can feel myself getting excited and all situational awareness automatically tuning to focus on her and her alone as I open the message.  

Hi, Derek!  it reads.  I just want to say hello and tell you that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.  Hannah and Oliver told me that you're pretty chill, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to send you a quick message.  I have plenty of cat memes for you if you're interested. 

I can't help but smile.  She must have figured out that I like cat memes from the cat memes I usually post every day on my story.  I haven't done it since the morning I was hospitalized, but I decide this is a good bonding opportunity.  

Thanks for the books and the card, I reply, followed by a few heart emojis.  Really enjoying it so far.  I hesitate for a minute, then send her another message.  You said you had cat memes.  Send me your best.  

She reads it immediately, then her end of the chat goes silent for a few seconds.  I'm assuming she's currently with Hannah and Oliver and losing her mind while they encourage her to keep talking to me.  

Gotta love those two.

A minute later, a badly edited photo of a cat comes through with a hilariously dumb caption.  I can't laugh because of my stitches, but I smile and save it to my camera roll.  She sends me a couple more, to which I respond with my own saved memes.  

This continues for about ten minutes before I get the bright idea to try to have a conversation with her.  Hey, how's your day going, by the way? I ask her.

Good, she replies.  We dissected fish in bio lab today.  I was fine until my obnoxious lab partners started making stupid comments about fish guts.  It somehow reminded me of your surgery and I had to leave the room.  

The smile fades from my face, my heart overcome with emotion at the empathy of this girl.  Please tell me you didn't get in trouble, Morgan.

I didn't, she assures me with a smiley face.  The professor knows what happened.  He's a tough guy but he yelled at the obnoxious people and then told me I could leave early if I wanted to.  

I send her a heart.  I'm alright, Morgan.  I'm sick, but I'm okay.  Just take care of my friends, and yourself.  I would like to meet you, whenever you're ready.

Another few seconds of silence, then another message.  I want to see you, Derek.  I really do.  I would even come see you in the hospital if you wanted.  I know how you feel about fangirls.  I don't want to annoy you.

You're never going to annoy me, I tell her.  Please, don't say those things about yourself.  I want to see you.  Whenever it works, come on over.  I can't go anywhere.  I'll wait for you.  When you're ready, my hospital room is open to you.  

Hannah and I just decided to run into town for some ice cream with Oliver, Morgan writes back.  I'll come see you as soon as I can wrap my head around the fact that I actually have the privilege of seeing you.  

I send her a smiley face and a heart.  Take your time, Morgan.  I'll be here when you get here.