Second Chances

Two

This was a mistake.

Derek reached up his hand to knock on the door before lowering it once again, no longer having the courage to go through with this. He knew he should walk away and save himself the embarrassment of being rejected.

"Derek?" He quickly turned as he heard Meredith behind him. "What...I'm sorry, I didn't realise you would be coming today."

"Sorry, it was a last minute decision." He reached up and rubbed the back of his head as Meredith moved up to stand next to him. "It's just, I've thought about what you said, the other day and...I think I want to be involved more with Chloe."

"Derek." Meredith sighed as she placed her bags down on the ground before standing back up right. "You need to know, you can't think. You have to decided if you definitely want to be involved because I can't have you messing Chloe around me, it's not fair."

"I'm sorry... this was a bad idea." Derek shook his head before looking away. "I just want to know more about her, I need to know that even though I'm not in her life she is happy and that me coming into her life isn't going to mess her up."

"Come in." Meredith took her keys out of her bag and opened up the door. "Chloe isn't here right now, she's out with Alex."

Derek stepped into her house and was immediately wrapped in a warmth. This place really had become a home. Photos of Chloe decorated the walls from ones of her smiling with her mother to ones of her cuddled up close to both his parents.

He smiled grateful for the fact that Meredith didn't push his family out after he decided to walk away.

"Would you like a coffee?" Meredith asked as they lived into the kitchen and dropped the bags down on the side.

"Yes please." Derek saw a photo of the window ledge and walked over, picking up and taking into his hands, studying it closer.

"Here. One coffee with a splash on milk and one sugar." Meredith smiled as she placed the cup down in front of Derek, noticing the photo he had in his hands. "That's from the day she was born."

"I remember..." Derek smiled as he lightly ran his finger over the photo. It was a photo of Derek holding a new born Chloe. "I messed up..."

"No, you didn't." Meredith ran her hand gently over his back. "You did what you needed to do at that moment in time. Do I hate that it's taken all this time for you to realise what you've missed out on? Yes, of course. But I also love the fact that you put your daughter before yourself during that time."

"I want to be involved." Derek turned to Meredith, tears shining in his eyes. "Only if that's ok with you?"

"Of course it is." Meredith's gaze softened as she reached up and dried the tears off his cheek. "You forget we was best friends before, I've missed having you around and I've missed seeing you get to bound with Chloe. She's incredible Derek."

"I know I've heard stories from my mom and dad."Derek smiled and laughed slightly. "Can you tell me more about her? Please."

"Of course, I'd love to." Meredith reached down and linked their hands together, squeezing it gently. "Come on, let's go and sit."

Together they moved through to the living room where they took a seat next to each other on the couch as Derek remained silent, waiting for Meredith to tell him all about their daughter.

"You know." Meredith placed her cup down on the table and crossed her legs up, turning to face Derek. "When Chloe is sleeping, she does this little thing where she scrunches her nose up slightly, she also does it when she's angry..."

"She gets that from you." Derek smiled in amusement, watching as Meredith looked at him in shock. "Sorry, carry on."

"Oh..." Meredith couldn't help but smile as Derek remembered small details of their time together. "Yeah, she is so smart. She's so close to being able to write her name and can easily count up to 20 but sometimes forgets about number 14."

Derek shook his head as he listened to Meredith continue to tell him things about their daughter that he didn't realise he wanted to know. From what he had heard, she was absolutely incredible and he couldn't be prouder of the girl she was today.

"Do you..." Derek took a deep breath in. "Do you think it would be alright if I got to meet her soon? Everything is done on your terms and I don't want o rush. Don't think I'm coming in to take over either because that's what I'm planning on doing."

"One day." Meredith smiled softly. "As much as I would love for you to have a relationship with her, we can't rush this because I don't want her to get confused   I mean she's still so young..."

Meredith stopped when the sound of her daughters footsteps echoed through the hall before she appeared in the door way.

"Mommy!" The young girl squealed as she ran and threw herself into Meredith's arms, wrapping them tight around Meredith's neck.

"Hey baby." Meredith's face lit up in her daughter's presence as she leaned in the kiss the side of her head. "Did you have a good day with Alex?"

"Hmm." Chloe nodded her head enthusiastically as her curls feel in front of her face. "Hi."

It was at this point that Derek realised that the young girl in front of him was not only looking at him but smiling widely at him.

"Hey." Derek said softly as he watched Chloe leaned back into Meredith's arms but continued to smile at Derek.

"Hey Mer, I've got madams bag..." Alex stopped as he saw Derek and nodded his head in his direction. "Shep."

"Alex." Derek nodded back before turning his attention back to both Meredith and Chloe.

"Alex." Meredith warned him. "I'll phone you later, ok?"

"Ok." Alex finally tore his stare away from Derek and turned back to the two girls. "See you later."

"Bye lex!" Chloe waved her hand before rubbing at her eyes, clearly exhausted from her day out. "Mommy, who that?"

Meredith looked up at Derek, unsure of what to say but smiled when Derek nodded at her.

"Chloe." Meredith picked the young girl up and turned her in her lap. "This...this is...well..."

"My names Derek." Derek could tell from Meredith's tone of voice that she wasn't quite ready to tell Chloe that the man sitting in front of her was in fact her father. "I'm your mommy's friend."

"Oh." Chloe smiled, seemingly happy with her answer before scrambling out of Meredith's lap and headed over to her toy box.

"Der, I'm so sorry." Meredith whispered.

"It's ok." Derek reached out and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I get it. It's too soon. We have time but for now I will just be Derek until you're ready to tell her, ok?"

"Thank you." Meredith smiled back, grateful for how understanding Derek was being.

"I should go." Derek stood up, closely followed by Meredith. "Bye Chloe."

"Bye bye." Chloe waved her small hand at him before going back to play with her toys.

"I'll be in touch." Derek placed his hand on Meredith's shoulder and squeezed it before turning towards the door.

He left the house feeling a lot lighter then he had in years, he finally felt like he was becoming a person who he could be proud of. But his head was loud. His thoughts were getting out of control at the sudden change of heart he had but he knew it was the right decision. But he needed to talk to someone and that someone was his parents.

Not only he needed their advice but he needed them to be honest with him. To tell him how much he had messed up, he needed that to move on and become the father that Chloe so desperately deserved.