Second Chances

One

Derek sighed and placed his glass down on the bar. It was like this every year, it was his daughters birthday and again he wasn't around to celebrate. But he only had himself to blame.

He was stupid, naive and took the easy way out and decided to step away and just watch from a distance as his daughter grew up. He never planned to be a father, ever, but he didn't want to deny his parents the chance to be her grandparents so his family were still very much involved in his daughters life. But he couldn't help but feel a deep regret as his daughter turned another year older and he was again missing out.

He had been around for the first few months but decided he couldn't be the father his daughter deserved so he left and showed his face every now and again.

"Another one Shep?" Joe, the bartender, asked him as he took his empty glass and wiped over the bar.

"Not tonight Joe. It's just the one for tonight and I should probably get going." Derek took his wallet out his pocket and dropped down a twenty on the bar before pushing his stool back and slipping his coat on.

"No worries Doc." Joe smiled as Derek stepped back. "Hey, tell Chloe I said happy birthday."

"I will." Derek forced a smile on his face as he said his goodbyes before heading out of the bar and out to his car.

Even though he hadn't been involved in raising Chloe, he always made sure that he sent money to help out with food and clothes because the last thing he wanted to see was the mother of his child struggle to raise their daughter.

Reaching up to run his fingers through his hair, he started his car and set off for home but on the way he quickly decided to drop in to his parents. It didn't take him long to get there as he parked his car in the drive, failing to notice the car parked down the street.

"Ma! Dad!" Derek shouted as he stepped into the house, shrugging out of his coat before hanging it up and kicking his shoes off.

"Derek." Carolyn quickly appeared and closed the door behind her, a frantic look on her face. "What...what are you doing here? You didn't say you was dropping in today..."

"I didn't plan on it but I stopped at the bar for a quick drink after work and thought I dropped in before going home to grab some tea..." at this point Derek finally looked around and noticed a small pair of pink trainers that were sat on the bottom step. "Oh. Chloe is here."

"Yeah..." Carolyn smiled slightly as she looked up at Derek. "It was a last minute thing and with it being her birthday, we just wanted to see her. I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologise...it's all good. I should probably just go." Derek went to reach for his coat but stopped when Carolyn placed her hand on his arm.

"Stay." Carolyn almost begged him. "Please..."

"Ma, I can't. It's not fair to her, she doesn't know and I know for a fact that..." Derek stopped and he looked up, his eyes meeting hers.

"Derek, hi." Meredith smiled softly at him as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting but hm, Chloe is asking if she can make some cookies and I'm absolutely useless in the kitchen."

"That's fine dear." Carolyn giggled as she laughed at her granddaughters innocence. "Derek..."

"Go Ma." Derek leaned down and kissed Carolyn's cheek quick before ushering her back into the house. "So how have you been?"

"Oh yeah we've been good." Meredith smiled. "You know just busy with work and with Chloe turning 3, I just feel like I don't stop. She definitely keeps me on my toes."

"Good, good." Derek smiled before reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. "I can't believe she's 3..."

"I know, only seems like 5 seconds since she was being placed in my arms." Meredith smiled as she reminisced back on the day their daughter was born. "Why don't you come in and see her?"

"Oh..." Derek gasped slightly. "I mean yeah, if that's ok."

Meredith nodded before heading into the house, Derek following closely behind as the approached the kitchen where their daughter was.

"God." Derek gasped as he admired their daughter. "She looks more and more like you everyday Mer. She's gorgeous."

"Thank you." Meredith knew she was biased when it came to her daughter but she really was the perfect combination of the two of them.

Her blonde curls fell down her back, her dimples showing as she giggled and her baby blue eyes lit up. Their daughter was gorgeous.

"You've done an amazing job with her Meredith." Derek said as they turned to face one another. "I mean it."

"You know it's not too late Derek..." Meredith whispered to him. Even though Derek had walked away, Meredith always made sure that Chloe knew about her father and always left the door open in case Derek decided he wanted to be involved, she just didn't think it would take 3 years. "You can be involved. You can be her father."

"Mer, it will be too confusing to her." Derek sighed sadly. "She doesn't know me..."

"But she can get to know you." Meredith placed her hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. "Just think about it. There's no pressure but please, I can see in your eyes that you want to know her and that you want to be involved. Please."

"Ok." Derek whispered softly before he moved to kiss Meredith on the cheek and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight before letting go and moving back. "Go be with Chloe."

Derek watched lovingly as Meredith walked up to Chloe and pressed her lips to the top of her head before joining in.

"Mommy! Look!" Chloe giggled as she stirred the contents of the bowl round and round.

As he stood there and watched them he couldn't help but wish he could go over and get involved. He had missed out on so much and he didn't want to miss out on anything else. He wanted to be there for future birthdays, her first day of school, learning to ride a bike and everything else.

He knew right there in that moment that he wanted to be a father. He needed to step up but he didn't know where to start.