The Submissive Assassin (BxB)

Chapter 97 - "I almost killed you."

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

Raphael knew this was coming—maybe that was why he was attempting to avoid the conversation. He knew any answer he gave wouldn't be enough for Lucius, but he was willing to try to explain how he felt without hurting him. Still, he himself wasn't entirely certain what he felt. It wasn't only Dante that he sensed a lump forming in his throat, it was also from seeing all of them. Reno, Bronsted, even Nate; it reminded him of Molly. The imagine of Molly's lifeless body on that stage as he exhaustively tried to retrieve his heartbeat had replayed in his mind during the mission—he was surprised he hadn't puked.

Thus, that answer was not simple.

And that was what he said.

"It's not that simple."

But like he had predicted, that wasn't enough for Lucius, who gripped the edge of one of the hospital beds and threw it over its sides. Raphael closed his eyes, the commotion causing a loud noise that made him flinch. He knew what Lucius was doing—Lucius had been wired to kill anything that remotely annoyed him; it was the only way to prevent him from hurting Raphael in any way, to transform that conditioned feeling onto hurting something—or someone—else.

After a series of curses, pacing across the room with his hands on his hips, his head tilted backwards causing his burgundy hair from the ponytail to fall a bit lower than its actual length, he found his spot again between Raphael and the doorway. He didn't even have to say a word for Raphael to see the battle of thoughts happening in Lucius mind. It definitely involved a debate of fight or flight, either revealing his emotions or leaving the room altogether.

Lucius reverted to what he was programmed from birth to do.

"We're done then." He started making his way to the door. "I'm leaving tomorrow, I'm going back."

Raphael instantly leaped forward, taking hold of Lucius' hand. "Woah Lucius, hold on a second."

"You said you didn't want to talk about it, right?" Lucius scoffed, pulling his hand away from Raphael and glaring over his shoulder. "We don't have to anymore, I'm done."

"At least let me explain."

"No."

"Lucy, I do love you." Raphael sighed, hoping that it would stop him from walking out of the room. Thankfully, Lucius lowered his gaze as he closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his fight or flight autonomic reaction to stop itself from attempting to bolt out of the door, preventing any heartbreak that could happen from furthering this conversation. Raphael seemed to bypass that system engraved in his soul, something no one else had ever been able to do. "But," his ears perked when Raphael continued, "when I tell you that it's not that simple, believe me that it isn't."

"Why isn't it that simple?" Lucius ragingly twisted on his heels, his broadened shoulders facing Raphael as he took a step forward, which made him swallow hard. Lucius' anger was not one to take lightly as he easily lost himself in it. He had made progress around Raphael, but regardless, preventing it from reaching beyond a turning point was always the best idea. "It has been months away from him and you're still in love with him?"

"Listen." Raphael's gaze lowered, biting his bottom lip for a moment. He had to explain this in a way that Lucius could understand and without hurting his feelings.

However, before he could continue, Lucius aggressively reached for his chin and lifted his head for their gaze to meet. "Look at me when you tell me how you've always had feelings for my brother and I was a useless rebound."

That made Raphael frown. "I-I've...I've never said those words to you." His thoughts began searching for where Lucius could have come up with that conclusion and it instantly dawned on him. "Oh god, did Dante tell you that?"