the bright sun shone on my closed eyelids. i stirred not wanting to be awake yet. the sheets i was in smelled so good and familiar. i felt safe in them, like i didn't have to worry about my problems. i blinked my eyes open seeing matt's sleeping form. it was friday, i knew this. the last day of school i would ever have.
my plan would be set in motion tonight. i would leave the one place i had called my home for eighteen years now. i was scared, but i was excited to build my future. i knew that this was the only way.
i reached out to play with a piece of matt's untamed hair. dark brown and soft. it still smelled like his shampoo, faint strawberries. a uncommon male shampoo scent, but i liked it. my phone was in my biker shorts pocket. i pulled it out and took a picture of matt, knowing this moment wouldn't last forever. although i wanted it too.
it was 6:23 am, far too early to be functioning but i knew that i would need to get ready in like two minutes if i wanted to be on time. but i relished in this moment for a second more. taking in every little detail of matt's sleeping face. still so perfect.
i pulled the covers from my legs, shuddering at the cold temperature outside of the heavy blanket. i hopped out of bed heading to the bathroom to get ready. i did light makeup and did two dutch braids in my hair. it had gotten so long i didn't really know what to do with it.
i threw on some dark grey wide leg sweatpants because none of my jeans fit me anymore. and a black pythia hoodie i stole from matt. i was very much showing now. everybody in school knew i was pregnant.
at first it bothered me, all the states and whispers. now i didn't really care, i had to worry about my soon to be born babies. plural.
i walked back into matt's room to find him on pulling on a hoodie. it was still the early months of the year so it was seasonably cold. "good morning," i hugged him from behind basking in the scent of his hair.
"morning," he sounded groggy and his voice was scratchy and deep. he turned around to hold me in his arms. i layed my head on his chest and closed my still very tired eyes.
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the school day had been filled with goodbyes and tears. i told all of my friends i was graduating early. the only people i did not tell were nick, matt, and chris. i knew they would never let me go to la by myself.
i didn't want them to feel like they needed to take care of me. frankly i didn't want them to do so. i wanted to prove i could do it alone.
