"i can't say I don't notice changes in seorin too. i think she's realised the importance of expressing what you feel. before, she just used to tell us but she'd say it in a way we couldn't understand what it really made her feel, you know?" yasuko sighed, "lowkey, though, falling in love is scary"
he was confused, "scary? why?"
she just shrugged her shoulders and looked down on the ground as they exited the mall and now were walking with the sky painted an ombre of orange pink and red instead of the usual blue.
"well, the thought of falling in love isn't scary but rather a distant dream for me. i just.." she struggled with her words again, "feel like I'd suck at it. that would be so unfair to whoever likes me. take the example of daehyun, he's okay. i bet if i got to know the guy, he'd be.. tolerable but to like and love him? i just.. i don't know.. "
"why do you feel like that, though? that you would suck at loving someone?" he asked with much curiosity
"i liked this guy back in japan. he liked me too. then i left him without saying goodbye. when i came here and after the thrill of coming to another country died down, i realised how bad i was at being myself with him," she frowned, "i liked him a lot but i knew he could never like me. so, i put up an act around him. you know like the cute helpless damsel in distress act,"
they both shared a laugh at her explanation.
"he liked that, and i was willing to not being me for him. then i later realised how that wasn't exactly healthy. but then i saw other people in love and they all seemed to be the same. the girl would be all over the guy and he would love that. but I'm not doing that. i don't like being all up someone's ass and calling it love, you know? so, i have concluded i can never love anyone with who i am and how i act" she finished her speech with a hint of a smile on her face
he was observing her face as she said it all. her face didn't show much sadness or regret, rather it was her voice that wavered and showed vulnerability to him.
"i do understand," he said, turning his head to look ahead of him, "but you need to understand that just because other people's love lives don't make sense to you doesn't mean that you don't deserve your own."
what he said made yasuko furrow her eyebrows and look up at his slightly talker figure.
"just, look at jisung and seorin. they're lovey dovey and cutesy wutesy but we all know seorin would sacrifice jisung for a bag of doritos," he said while laughing, "they're whipped but they aren't up eachother's asses completely. then we have the new jeno and subin. i can't say much about them because they don't really show affection infront of us all, but we both know they're really different. and subin and seorin both aren't helpless damsels in distress, infact they make the boys look like that when they joke about dating eachother. ah, i don't know what I'm saying at this point but remember, hirano," he stopped and looked at the girl who was already looking at him with big, curious eyes,
"just because the way you would love someone is different than the norm, doesn't mean you aren't capable or enough for it"
haechanahceah's post
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