Don't Let Me Drown

Twelve: Thunderous

This was it. The moment Hyunjin was most scared of. The day he had to get up on stage and face everyone who had been terrorising him for the last few months. He loves stays, he really did, but some of the things they sent had hurt him more than he could ever hurt himself. And that was saying something.

The dressing room buzzed with activity, each of the boys surrounded by a plethora of people getting them ready for their comeback. As the stylist moved around the tall boy, she grumbled and jabbed pins into Hyunjin's outfit. Her frustration was unmistakable as she muttered, "It's like dressing a mannequin. This can't be right."

"What's wrong?" He asked, bored of the whole process already.

"This fit you fine a few weeks ago, why is there so much excess fabric?"

Hyunjin stood still, his face a mask of indifference, but his heart pounded with a sick sense of satisfaction. He was getting smaller and he could visibly see it. For the first time in a long while, he felt the twisted relief of accomplishment in the way his clothes hung loosely on his slender frame.

More pins were thrust into it, Hyunjin trying hard to not wince when one brushed the surface of his skin. The stylist stood back and shook her head, "this will have to do, we don't have time to change it."

The taller boy tried to ignore the glances in his direction but it didn't mean he couldn't feel their eyes burning into him. It had been a long time since he'd worn anything form fitting and it was obvious how tiny his body had become. Whilst he relished in it, they were all horrified.

Changbin was the first to approach him, his friend couldn't stay silent any longer. He gently pulled Hyunjin aside, his voice filled with worry. "Hyunjin, you've lost so much weight. Are you sure you're okay?"

Hyunjin forced a tight smile, his defensiveness creeping into his tone. "Are you saying I don't look good, Binnie?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. You look ill, do you really think this is supposed to be okay?"

Rolling his eyes. Hyunjin just waved his concern away, "it's not a lot. I feel the best I ever have."

Changbin sighed but didn't press further, knowing how stubborn his friend could be. However, he couldn't help but shoot a concerned glance in Hyunjin's direction before turning his attention to the rest of the members.

"Later."

The taller boy hated that word. He hated what it meant. He couldn't understand why they wouldn't just leave him alone, hadn't he made it clear enough that he didn't think he had a problem? He didn't have the energy to argue with it though, he replied with a nod and turned away to try and settle his pre performance nerves.

The door to their dressing room opened, their manager abruptly entering the space, his authoritative presence commanding their attention. With a no-nonsense tone, he looked at them all before he spoke. "Time to get into formation, boys. The show is about to start."

The manager's words left no room for argument, they were doing this whether they were ready or not, Hyunjin was never sure if he was ready. They were herded toward the stage, and the concerns surrounding the taller boy's weight loss were temporarily pushed aside.

As they stood side by side, ready to step onto the stage for their Thunderous performance, Hyunjin was sure he could feel his pulse in his throat. The stage was black, this was their cue to take their positions.

Ear pieces were fitted, nods of encouragement were shared. They'd done this so many times before but this one felt different, they all knew that. This would make or break them, it was time to show the world what they were made of. And Hyunjin couldn't be more terrified if he tried.