Don't Let Me Drown

Ten - Jigsaw Pieces

A few days had passed. Hyunjin clutched at his chest as he jolted awake, surrounded by nothing more than the darkness of the room and the rain hitting off the window. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead, trickling down his temples as he gasped for breath. It was one of those nightmares again, the kind that felt too real, too suffocating to be ignored.

It had all felt so real. His brain struggled to understand that it wasn't. He could almost feel himself still submerged in an endless vat of water. The cold, inky depths pressed against him from every angle, wrapping him into a cruel embrace. His limbs felt heavy and unresponsive, there was nothing he could do to fight against and get free..

Even awake, he could still feel the panic coursing through all his veins. Desperation had been etched across his face as he thrashed and kicked, his movements desperate and uncoordinated but the water wouldn't relent and set him free. He had tried to reach the surface, to break free from the watery prison, but it remained infuriatingly out of reach.

In the room, Hyunjin tried to blink away the vision of a ghostly hand coming towards him. He could still see the fingers outstretched as if to offer salvation. His own hand still felt the way it felt as his palm grabbed for it but only managed a brush. But the hand, as real as it seemed, couldn't pull him from the abyss.

His heart knew the person the hand belonged to, the desperation that had bubbled in his chest as he tried again and again and again to be saved by it. It had been distorted by the water's refracted light but he knew. The false hope that had swelled when he thought he would be okay. They would never let him drown.

The face had just stared at him, it was impossible to read the emotions. The hand had plunged further, urging Hyunjin to reach for it, to find safety in its grasp. But the offer was powerless, just like him, unable to break the surface tension that held them captive.

The water had continued to close in, dragging him further down into its clasp. It filled his mouth and lungs, choking him, leaving him gasping for help as he screamed into the void for help. Every breath failed, weighing him down until he had sunk to the bottom, further away from the safety of land.

Hyunjin had thrashed and struggled, his limbs now still feeling exhausted from how much he had tried. His vision had started to fail him, blurring like a filter had been cast over his eyes. The phantom hand reached out again, but it couldn't do anything to save him from the water.

When he had taken that last breath, it wasn't relief he felt, it was regret. That was how he found himself now. His body was damp from perspiration, his chest heaving as he struggled to find his bearings in the dimly lit room. The remnants of the dream clung to him, there was no comfort to be found now in the walls that surrounded him.

Hyunjin lay there, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, his chest ripping open with the void that often filled it. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like, he'd been too caught up in the small glimmers of joy he'd felt that the weight made him breathless. His nightmare had ripped open all the old wounds he had tried to close, and the darkness was seeping in once more, suffocating him from within.

It was the loneliness that hurt the most, having to lie there knowing that there was no one around to take all the pain away from him. His anxiety was feeding on it, the feeling that he was teetering on the edge of an abyss. His thoughts grew chaotic, a whirlwind of despair and self-doubt that slowly started to drown him.

Deeper, he spiralled. His nails dig into the centre of his chest and he tried to find something to pull him up enough to not be tormented. He searched for any warmth he could and that's when he heard it. Or at least, he thought he heard a voice calling out to him, a voice that sounded familiar and comforting. Maybe his brain was playing a trick on him but he used every last bit of will he had left to focus on it.