Reprogrammed (Hunter Angst)

Longing To Live In Reality

And then he'd lie, for almost the entire session. She would ask him how his medication was making him feel, if he was doing well in school, and a bunch of other nonspecific questions. Today was no different, until it was.

She was writing again, recording his answers. The last time she'd done this, Mrs. Rose had given him a bunch of diagnoses and sent his life into a spiral. Nervousness and irritation bubbled around inside of him.

"Hunter, I'm going to be very honest with you for a moment. I feel that it is very important that we maintain a truthful relationship with one another."

Hunter swallowed dryly, and he felt the blood drain from his face. Titan , he was too tired for this. Defenses raised, he nodded for her to continue.

Mrs. Rose was incredibly graceful when beginning her confrontation.  "For the last several weeks, you've seemed very closed off. Your answers have been short and curt, and your body language makes you appear... unavailable. You're very distant during our sessions."

This woman was seriously pissing him off. A tightness gathered at the back of his throat, and his face felt hot. He desperately longed for Flapjack's comfort.

"Flapjack is dead, dear boy.  Crushed to death by your own hand. I don't think it is very keen of you to wish for the comforts of an animal that you killed " Belos's rotting skull reminded him helpfully from his corner. Hunter's face flushed red. It was getting incredibly hard to keep his emotions in check.

"I'm sorry for being distant," Hunter stated through gritted teeth. It didn't sound like an apology, but he wasn't sorry for that fact either. The look that his therapist gave him in reply really made his emotions swell.

"I'm worried for you, Hunter, and I need you to be honest with me when I ask you this next question. Can you promise that you'll be completely honest with me?"

"I'm always honest with you, Mrs. Rose." He replied. Belos's skull gave him a sneering chuckle.

"I appreciate that. Please, tell me, are you planning to hurt yourself or anyone else?"

There it was. She didn't trust him, didn't believe him. She pitied him, viewed him as a pathetic, weak failure of a teenager. Everybody did, and he was fucking tired of it. The emotions that consumed every inch of his body made him feel alive for the first time in forever . With the strength of a soldier, he threw himself off the couch with shallow, heaving breaths. His hands shook.

"I'll do what I fucking want , with my own fucking body ." He spoke, voice quiet and shockingly even. Hunter was seething . Before she could stop him, he forced himself through the door, slammed it shut behind him, and marched into the lobby where Darius and Camila waited. Darius's eyes met his wild magenta irises for just a moment. Before either of them could say anything, he had already teleported down the stairs with a flash of neon.

This was the most energetic, aware, and powerful he'd felt in so long. It felt so wonderful to feel alive. Rage, raw, red, and fiery coursed through every vein. Soon, he was out of the building and teleporting around in flashes. It had also been too long since he'd really used his body, been able to fight with it and use his (Flapjack's) powers.

That was one thing he missed about the Emperor's Coven. Hunter was a fighter, a soldier since birth. Belos had done well to bring him up tough and hard. The medication was making him soft, nauseous, chronically exhausted. The therapy made him feel weak and pitiful, a creature to be lathered in sympathy.

He used to be the Golden Guard, a high ranking official. He was not meant to be pitied.

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Darius and Camila found him an hour later, practicing training drills in a park not far from the Noceda house. Darius was fuming, Camila had tear tracks down her face. He felt terrible about it, but he also didn't. Instead, Hunter chose to clutch on that experience of feeling alive , like a real living person. Camila hugged him when they both found him, and Darius visibly relaxed.

Mrs. Rose had clearly filled them in on the events that had taken place inside her office. They talked to him in worried voices, asking him if he was alright, asking him if he was hurt, if he'd hurt himself. He couldn't care less about any of it. A small part of him chastised him for being selfish, but the teenager was frankly too fired up to focus on anything other than the buzzing in his very soul. It felt good to do something that was so... impulsive.

Camila was saying something to him, something about how she was so scared, how she was glad he was okay, how he needed to come with her and Darius. Her tone of voice sounded so upset, and it was beginning to get to him a little.

"Hunter, please Mijo, stop scratching at your arms. They're bleeding, you see?" Mrs. Noceda said. He looked down at his arms and noticed that they were , in fact, bleeding just a little bit. The pain of the scratches made itself known. Strange, what a weird, delayed reaction.

The all consuming anger that kept him forcefully in the present was starting to trickle away, leaving anxiety in its wake. Shame was dogging behind it, gnashing its ugly teeth.

He had fucked up big time .

Camila was hugging him, telling him that it was going to be okay. They worked together to lead him back to the house like a scared animal. His hands shook as he held Camila's. Darius would not look at him.

Both adults managed to coax him inside and convinced him to take his anxiety medication. Blood under his fingernails felt sticky and smelled coppery, but both sensations felt far away.

"Slipping back into the sanctity of your mind so soon, Golden Guard?" The skull, ever present, whispered to him by way of greeting. He chose not to reply, instead wrapping his arms tightly around a stuffed animal that found its way into his lap.

"Focus on that stuffed animal, Hunter. Try not to scratch your arms" Camila instructed, voice firm. She looked like she'd aged ten years in a day, her eyes filled with a sort of sadness he couldn't describe. He looked over and Darius was using a human phone to call somebody.

"We found him, he's safe, but his arms are very scratched up... Yes, we'll take turns keeping an eye on him... Okay, thank you. Sorry once again... Yes, we'll see you soon. Thank you, Mrs. Rose. Goodbye."

The conversation made Hunter want to scratch at his arms, pick at the skin around his fingers, and do anything to keep himself in the present. The Alprazolam was fast acting, and soon these urges were washed away like a sand castle next to the powerful ocean. Camila was sitting with him on her couch, using a wet rag to wipe the blood out from under his fingernails. Darius sat across from the teenager, emerald eyes distant and filled with worry.

"I'm sorry," He whispered. And then he started to cry.

uuuuuuuuuuuh sorry for the shorter chapter