Red String

chapter two.

I was staring at the white ceiling while my alarm was ringing on.

This was the only thing that was keeping me sane these days.Honestly, I was using this occasion as a metaphor to keep me alive.

It feels like I am ahead of people, not an observer, not an emotionally unavailable deviant.

I left my bed while my mind was flattered with millions of thoughts.I went to the shower and started shaking while my body interacted with cold water. Goosebumps attacked my spine while my thoughts started to fade.

But it was fine,since I knew that it was going to keep me stable through all day. I stayed in the shower for 10 minutes, with no emotion or a motion.

After shower, I drank a cup of coffee to get warm.It was a casual saturday for me. I was going to visit New Orleans again and I was kinda nervous.

Someone I knew from the past was living there.

And then the terror would start spinning in my head.

I was looking for him.

And I was looking for my past.

Deep down, part of me was missing it. All of it.

All the passion I had for my life.

However, it was such a sad fact that all I brought from my past was loneliness and my traumas.

People break you, hurt you, make you hate yourself and in the end you are being the villain for turning off your emotions. How funny and ironic, isn't it?

Thoughts were flowing through my head again while I was driving. I opened one of my playlists and started singing along.

"Don't leave me hangin' on, you misunderstood me all along
High risk and no gain, and I'm a fool to love the pain..."

Two hours passed by while I was vibing to my precious songs.

Here I am. In New Orleans. Best city I have ever seen in the USA.

I park my car in city centre and start walking in beautiful streets of this wonderful city.

I spent the day in bookshops, took beautiful pictures, got my favourite coffee and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Before leaving, I saw a flower store. I was too tired but I knew that I could not step out of this city If I did not get a bucket for myself.

There was a strange feeling, which was giving me a stomach pain.

However, I went in and started to look at flowers.

White roses.

"White roses?"

I blenched when I heard stranger's voice. It was a very tall young man around my ages, with brown eyes and blonde hair.I started to examine him with my eyes.

"I guess I scared you,princess." said he again.

"Oh,It was just all of a sudden." I replied.

"Sorry about that.I just got a little suprised, because people usually prefer red roses."

"Let's say white ones suit me better."

"I don't think they are precious enough to suit you.Also, it is a shame that such a beautiful lady like you has to buy herself flowers."

Fuck. I think I knew him from somewhere.

I smiled.

"Thanks for the compliment, but I don't mind buying myself nice flowers since I put myself in first place."

"Wow, you are kinda interesting."

"Yeah, we can also say that."

I took another look at him. I knew him from somewhere.

He smiled gently.

"Why did you look at me like that?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just thought I know you from somewhere."

"No, I don't think so. I wouldn't forget such a pretty face If I have seen it before." he answered.

"By the way, my name is Paxton.Paxton Park.I have a band and I play every Friday,Saturday and Sunday ." He pointed out to a bar which was at the end of the street.

Bitch. Of course he was gonna flirt with me for his own good.

"Nice to meet you, it is Sarah. Sarah Abbott.I visit New Orleans time to time and I am sure I will go in to the bar next time."

"You don't live in New Orleans?"

"No, unfortunately."I said.

"Too bad. But I am sure I will see you again."

"Time is getting lat-"

"I got the message, you better start driving to home."

"See you later."He said and went forward to door.

He stopped before stepping out.

"By the way, your white roses are from the house."

And he left.

"See you later." I said.

However, I wasn't sure if he heard me.