His Black Secret

Chapter 20

*still In Jan's PoV*

I follow her to her bedroom to ask for a duvet and pillow but she beats me to it.
"You know where to sleep, good night Jan!"
She says to me, dumping the beddings in my outstretched hands.

"Sweet dreams beautiful"
I give her a wink before heading into the lounge area.

I can't even lie, but this is the best sleep I have had in weeks. The couch is pretty small accommodating my six foot 3 size but I will take it any day just to be under the same room with Noa.
It's been a shitty few weeks for me without my Noa.

After my morning hygiene. I take two pain killers and a glass of water to Noa's room. I know she'll wake up hanged over because of how much alcohol she consumed last night.

I decide to make some breakfast because we cannot talk on an empty stomach and Noa can be cranky when she's hanged over and hungry.
I opened the fridge to find it fully stocked and decide to make a typical English breakfast of back bacon, eggs, sausage, baked beans, bubble and squeak, fried tomato, fried mushrooms, black pudding, with fried and toasted bread on the side.

I decide to make some coffee since we both preferred it to tea in the mornings.

I grab Noa's coffee and mine and head to her bedroom when I hear noises coming from there. My cue that she's awake.

I knock on the bedroom door twice and enter. Shes on her bed typing something on her iPhone.

She doesn't turn away from her phone even when I step in.
"The food should be done in a few
minutes. How are you feeling this morning? I brought you coffee.
I step closer to the bed and sink into the
corner. That grabs her attention. She looks up at me and leans into her headboard.
"I'm ok and thanks for the painkillers and the coffee."

She tells me while stretching to take the coffee from me.

I take the opportunity to crawl to her side and kiss her forehead.
She turns to lay her head in my shoulder and in that moment I know we are going to be alright.

"What did you make?" She asks while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Why don't you come with me to find out for yourself" I say with a cheeky smile.

After breakfast and cleaning the kitchen, we decide to lounge in the couch and binge watch some true crime documentaries, Noa's version of chilling and relaxing.

I doze off sometime but wake up and decide to take a walk. Noa decide to tag along since it is a sunny beautiful day.

After the long walk, while sitting in the kitchen making some drinks, I decide to broach the topic and get it over with. I have been stalling long enough.

"So before I start talking can you promise me that you will listen quietly till the end before asking any questions and of course, with an open mind? Please?"

I ask, looking straight in her eyes

She returns my stare with a glare and after about two minutes she nods her head yes.

I then go on to tell her everything there is to know about how we met, the baby, the marriage, the woes of making it work after loosing a child, the change and finally the divorce.

She is quiet for a long while until she finally said
"so you still cheated with me because technically you were still married to her. My only consolation is that I am not the reason for your marriage ending."

"Yes, I admit that, and I am sorry I made you feel like a home wrecker which you definitely aren't".
I love you Noa, and was hell these past weeks without you. I want to be with you. I want to be a part of your life. I know it's going to take time to win your trust back but I am ready for this challenge, if only you will forgive me and allow me to love you all over again."

She turns to face the window but I see her blink and wipe a stray tear from her eye. She takes a long sip out of the mango and pineapple juiceI made her to help control her emotions but it doesn't work because her tears keep flowing.

She attempts to wipe her cheeks, but i beat her to it. My thumb moving below her eyes, removing the salty tears, before leaning down and giving her a gentle kiss.

The kiss is sweet, it's good, it's lovely. It's everything we won't say out loud to each other yet, because I think we're both afraid we're too fragile.
Her more fragile than me. But I am hopeful that our foundation will be stronger after all is said and done. I intend to grovel a whole lot to make her secure and happy with me for as long as humanly possible.

She takes a long sigh before

"I forgive you. You hurt me really bad but you also make me happy and I want to be this happy always. I just don't want you to lie and hide things from me going forward because it doesn't help in building a relationship."

I make her a promise to be the best man deserving of her and give her the "come hither" look.
She's in my arms in no time and I waste no time hugging her.

As i bend to give her the kiss I have been craving from her for the longest time, her door bell goes off.

I hear whispering when Noa goes to check who is at the door.
It is Sophie and I hear them talk for a while beforeI hear Noa promising to tell her everything before the door finally closes.

"It was Sophie she came to check up on me after last night's craziness" she says while sitting in my lap smiling up at me. My arms tightened around her while she stroked my face, eating me up with her eyes. Sighing, I dipp my head and she closes her eyes, covering her lips with my own. Opening up to me, cradling my head in her arms while I stroke her hair.

It has been far too long.

***

Much later, sharing a chair, ignoring the sofa, and with Noa still on my lap sharing coffee and pastry, I finally asked her something I have been meaning to ask her.

"What is your schedule like on Thursday evening? You know it's fashion week and I got an invite from my cousin's wife who is a designer.

I ask while caressing her knee absentmindedly.

"I would love to go but what do I wear? I have to go shopping or ask Sophie. She knows more about these things.

" Don't worry she has one of her designs on the ready for you provided you agreed to come along with me".

"oh that sounds fantastic! I feel like a celebrity or an influencer already" she says excitedly.

"You are that and more to me love".

*Another chapter! *
Enjoy!