I think I'm lost without you [Paul Lahote]

Chapter Nine: I had a dream that one day I would just fly away

After a lot of swearing and freaking out and just a little bit of screaming, Noah finally calmed down. At least a little bit. Can you blame her though? Her cousin had just changed into a horse sized wolf before her eyes and if that made everything else true, then everyone else staring at her right now could do the same. She was quite literally alone in the wild, surrounded by a pack of wolves.

"Do you see now?" Jake had turned back into a human and, upon receiving some shorts to throw on, was now standing in front of Noah smiling in what looked like relief. "We were telling the truth."

Noah sucked on a tooth, surveying her cousin and the group behind him. Everyone was clearly waiting on her with bated breath. Some of them were even smiling like Jacob. Her eyes flitted from a beaming Seth to Paul. Paul was watching Noah warily, observing her in the intense way that usually made her squirm. But Noah was in no mood to focus on that and Paul seemed to be the only one who truly saw that. The only one who truly saw her.

"Let me just see if I have this straight..." she trailed off, furrowing her brow. There was not even a trace of a smile on Noah's face. "You're trying to tell me... that because you all can turn into freakishly large dogs... it's okay to abandon your family?"

Jacob's face fell. Noah didn't know what reaction befell the rest of the group, or rather pack she corrected herself, because her eyes were boring straight into Jacob's soul. She wanted him to feel her words.

"That it's okay to make me believe that there's something wrong with me? That I was the reason you all just up and left? You're telling me that it was okay to make me think that everything I knew was a lie? That the only reason we were ever close in the first place was because Aunt Sarah made you be my friend out of pity? That all of this fucked up shit is totally fine because the ends justify the means! Did I get that right or am I missing anything?"

"Noah, I didn't mean any of that. You have to know that." Jake pleaded. His body twitched as though he considered dropping to his knees. Noah may very well have kicked him in the face if he did.

"No, I don't know that Jacob." Noah spat, his name like acid on her lips. "I spent weeks wondering what I did to make you all hate me. Hating myself for not being good enough for you. And now I'm supposed to just forget all of that?"

"Please, Noah," Jake begged, hoping beyond hope to put out the fire that was blazing in his cousin's eyes. "I'll apologize for the rest of my life if I have to, but I can't lose you again. You have to know it killed me to say those things."

"Well you seemed pretty comfortable saying it at the time." Noah laughed dryly. "That kinda shit doesn't just come from nowhere."

Jacob stepped back as if he had been struck and a hush fell over the rest of the group. This was probably not what they were expecting, but Noah felt no remorse. In fact, her glare followed Jacob's retreat with a fury that could shake mountains.

"Was this really the big plan?" Noah laughed again, this time more hysterically. She threw her hands up into the air. "Try to talk to me a few times like nothing changed and then tell me you're fucking spirit warriors meant to defend the tribe from - oh yeah, Vampires! And that everything I went through was just a necessary evil to 'protect' me? And what? I'm just supposed to let you back in my life with open arms? Did you really think it would be that goddamn easy?"

"To be fair, I told them it was a shit idea." Leah volunteered from the back. This was met with immediate backlash from the rest of the pack but Leah withstood it all with a smug glare. And while Noah actually appreciated her grim candor - and her courage to share it in a situation like this - she didn't have the time nor willingness to show it. Noah was still filled with too much rage and confusion and buried underneath it all, hurt.