Stuck With You

I'm sorry

"are you really asking me that?! You hid the truth from me and you're still hiding everything from me!"

Please stop yelling at me. I love you so much.

"what truth Joshua?" I question, even though I know what he is talking about.

A sarcastic chuckle escapes his lips before looking down back at me.

"you spent days in that fucking hospital for days and I had no clue what was happening to you! Tell me why you were there." he demands and I am glad that he's no longer yelling at me.

Joshua has always been a calm guy and the way he is reacting right now scares me.

"I was.. sick." I answer, my head low.

"sick of what?"

The memory of how I lost my child fills my mind and I let the tears fall from my eyes.

Joshua uses his hand to lift my chin up, forcing me to stare into his eyes.

A single look from his eyes is enough to weaken me.

"I.. I.. had a miscarriage. I.. I lost my baby, your baby Joshua." I finally tell him and he let go of my chin.

"you.. why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"

"I.. I don't know. I had no reason to tell you." I spit and he gives me a dirty look.

"are you kidding me right now? It was my baby and you had no right to keep it from me!" he yells again as he grabs the bottle before smashing it on the ground and I shiver.

"this is the same reason why I didn't tell you anything! You keep blaming me for everything!"

"I'm not blaming you for anything! You were pregnant and you didn't tell me anything and then you lost the baby and still decided to keep it to yourself!" he yells again and my eyes burn.

Josh and I have had fights before but none of them were as serious as this one.

"what.. how did you lose the baby?" he questions, taking a step forward.

"please just stop with all this interrogations Joshua." I tell him and mean it.

I'm just so tired of everything.

"this wouldn't have happened if you had told me everything sooner." he barks. "why are you so selfish? You only think about yourself! You don't consider what others would feel!"

Tears threaten my eyes again and I struggle to swallow down all the emotions running through me.

"I'm sorry." I say and he looks surprised by what I just said.

"you should be!" he says and I literally hear the blood pounding behind my ears.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did and I regret doing it." I admit.

My hands wrap in my hair and I tug at it.

"when were you planning to tell me?" he asks in a calm voice.

"I.. I've never thought about that." I tell him.

My heart sinks even lower when he grabs my phone off the nightstand before smashing it on the floor.

He grabs his phone off the couch he was sitting on before smashing it against the wall.

"J-Josh.." I attempt to take a step forward but he stops me.

"don't. Don't come near me, I don't want to hurt you." I stay in place.

My heart feels like it was being squeezed by a cold, metal fist. I have never felt this way, this is worse than I had imagined.