RISING (#2, of Crows and Thorns)

Chapter 109

"A shooting star!" I cried, pointing skyward, my fingers sticky with chocolate.

Wisps of hair brushed the back of my neck as my aunt turned to look over my shoulder. "Quick, make a wish," she urged.

I squeezed my eyes like a child and my mind was instantly filled by a man with deep violet eyes and a broad unrestrained grin he shared just with me.

I wish, I wish, I wish...

My childish exhilaration stumbled headfirst into reality. I could never tell my aunt anything about Varen. There'd never be a moment I could speak about him to anyone.

And it was a foolish thing to wish upon.

My throat knotted as anguish buried its thorns inside my heart at the thought of always being kept in the shadows like a dirty secret.

After I pried my damp lashes apart I discovered the shooting star had winked away into oblivion.

Snatching up a napkin I wiped the chocolate off my fingers, jerking the soft material over my chapped skin, rougher, harder, as I pushed back at the misery threatening to engulf me. I reminded myself not to look too far ahead. I'd experienced the most amazing evenings in my entire life with Varen and I shouldn't spoil it with regret or worry about what the future would hold.

Folding the napkin and shoving it into my jacket's pocket, I stilled, warmth spilling into the emptiness in my chest, when I realized my aunt could have everything I ever wanted. For this evening, I'd bathe in my aunt's happiness and steal a piece of it to ward off the sorrow.

Aunt Ellena shifted behind me. Her jacket slid against my own as she leaned sideways. In the corner of my eye, I glimpsed her rummaging around in the picnic basket. She retrieved a pistachio truffle and offered one to me. The chopped nuts dotted around the white chocolate shell pressed into my finger pads as I pinched it from her grip.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "So," I began lightly, turning the truffle around with my fingertips. "How is it going with Markel?"

We'd talked about everything else, now it was time to indulge in the same sort of talk Beckah liked to do when she whispered to me about all the boys she'd stolen kisses from.

When my aunt hesitated, I knocked my shoulder blade into her making her sway forward and laugh. Her carefree laughter caressed the night air and made my heart soar with its girlish ease. "It's been so lovely," she sighed. "I feel like a teenager all over again."

My free hand was braced on the rug beside her own. My work-roughened skin scraped along my aunt's as I wound my little finger around hers. "He makes you happy."

She squeezed my little finger back. "He does, he really does."

The moon, pitted and aloof, held my gaze but my thoughts were on Markel and how my aunt seemed to be so infused with youthfulness in his presence. She really was a teenager, frequently blushing and laughing these days.

"You two are good for one another. He's liked you for a very long time, and despite all the bellowing he does in his kitchen, he's just a big softie. Best of all he makes the best desserts."

"I gathered that already from all the scrumptious moaning you've been making."

Sinking my teeth into white chocolate peppered with tiny chunks of pistachio, I moaned in an exaggerated fashion, reveling in her laughter. "I'm so happy for you, Aunt Ellena. I'm glad Markel's been the one to reforge your broken heart."

My aunt's shoulders stiffened. The sharp inhale of breath was whisper-loud.

Shock at my stupidity slammed into me hard. I hadn't been thinking. It had fallen from my lips unheeded.

I twisted slowly around to face her. Ever since my aunt had spoken of this mysterious man last week, there'd been moments when I'd pondered on who'd broken her heart all those years ago, who'd been responsible for her closing herself off from meeting someone as lovely as Markel for far too long. She hadn't wanted to talk about him when she mentioned it during our hike to the krekenn cave, maybe now she'd open up since she was immersed in happiness with Markel. There had been deep feelings running between them both, as deep and swift as a rushing river at midnight.

My aunt turned around. Astonishment dissolved into raw emotions chasing one another across her stricken features. Awfulness stung like barbed wire as I wondered if the hurt was still too fresh.

Last week as we'd trudged through the forest toward the cave, she'd said—I fell in love with someone who could never be mine—and because it was so close to the truth of what Varen was to me, I couldn't help but think of it.

"Who was he, Aunt Ellena?" I asked softly. "Was it someone from the upper ranks?"

Her gaze sharpened. She blinked, tilting her head so her hair fell down on one side, the dark blond waves swaying across the front of her puffy jacket as she absorbed my question. She scanned my face, taking in my horrified expression. All of a sudden she burst into irrepressible laughter that spiraled through the crisp night air. "Nothing like that, Tabitha."

"Oh..." I whooshed out, relieved, the tightness leaving my chest.

"Oh my... One of the upper ranks," she repeated, shaking her head, the red pompom on her knitted hat bobbing.

While she continued laughing, I was cringing.

Gods, she would be disappointed and so worried if she ever found out I was entwined with an heir.

Aunt Ellena visibly relaxed, pushing the front of her hat back to her hairline. "You know our world..." Cold dread pressed against my bones when I realized in horror where she was going with this. Her motherly tone came out and it creased the skin around her eyes as they narrowed and became stern. "There is nothing more dangerous for one of us to have an affair with one of the upper ranks." Her voice softened as she carried on. "I know you'd never put yourself in that position. You're a good girl with a sensible head on your shoulders."

Shame weighed heavily on my limbs that my aunt thought so highly of me. I was already in that position. I licked my dry lips before saying weakly, "Of course, I know that, and I never would."

Gods, the lies falling from my lips tasted bitter and filthy. I couldn't hold her gaze any longer and I glanced down at my thighs, rubbing my palms over my jeans. It was far too late to stop what had begun between myself and Varen. But even I knew that was a lie because it wasn't too late, I just didn't want to.

My mind kept spinning it around. If not someone from the upper ranks...then who?

The answer crashed into my head and my jaw slackened.

I jerked my head up in shock. I couldn't believe it. My aunt had an affair!

It blurted from me. "He was married!"

"No...no, not that either," my aunt said in a rush to reassure me, her hand reaching outward as if to stop the terrible thought. "Oh my goodness, Tabitha. No, he was not married."

I frowned. "Then who was he?"

She blew out a breath and right then I knew I had her. She had to explain herself now.

The rug shifted slightly as she changed position to tuck her legs under and lean back on her heels. She gave me a thoughtful look before her gaze went distant as if she'd disappeared back in time.