My world

chapter 14

What the fuck phi ! I thought we just have phi and nong relationship. I never thought you would have this kind of feelings towards me. If I knew it before, I would never even spare a look at you. I don't want a fucking relationship with you. I can't phi ! Please leave me alone.

I can see tears which are welling to come out of his eyes. He was suffering . He was suffering because of me. But I can't be with him. He gripped my wrist. I pulled my hand from his hold and ran out as fast as I can without even glancing a look at my friends.

But I know, they all are sad. They were all in pain because of my behaviour. But I know this is the best. This is the best for Mew.

I started the engine of my car and drove to the hotel.

I was sobbing and crying my heart out while driving. I ran to my room . I crashed in the corner of my room. I sat in the darkness. I was not in a mood to switch on the lights.

I covered my mouth with my left hand palm and I clutched my chest where my heart is present, with my right hand.

It was paining. It was paining in my heart. I never ever imagined that Mew would like me. But he said that he loved me.

But I can't express my feelings. I had hurted him. Now, I hate myself even more.

My eyes were roaming around the room. I can't see clearly because of the tears. But my eyes were landed on a paper cutter. My heart was suggesting to just grab it, hold it tight and cut my ulner arteries which are present on my wrist.

I covered my ears with my both hands and rolled into a ball on floor. I don't want to listen to those voices and words. I slapped my face across my cheek. I need to put some sense in my brain. I slapped, slapped, slapped until I can't feel the pain. Until my cheeks became sore.

I ran towards the study table. I grabbed a paper and pen. I started pouring all my pain into words on the paper. Because whenever I feel pain, sadness, loneliness. I would write it. It make me feel light.

It is so dark that even the sun's rays can't penetrate.
Even my shadow was merged into that infinite darkness by leaving me alone.

My gaze was not here,
They were fixed in a void.
My thoughts were not here,
They were running behind my past.
My life is not here,
That is what he once dragged away from me.
My focus is not here,
It revolves around the memories associated with him.

Like a strom,
My thoughts are scattered.
My heart was buried in the ashes of this pain,
It's like someone was digging in my gut.
The voice in my throat insists that it will not come out.
If one comes, my existence Will be known to all.

Like a broken river,
Tears streams are flowing and wetting my cheeks.
In my mind,
Many questions are arising,
They have no answers.
Yet .... Many memories are coming back,
They have no control.
A lot of ideas were popping up,
There is no end to them.

The agony I am going through,
Can not even be describes.
Because, words are not enough to describe, language is useless.

My mind is running faster than the light,
From this darkness,
From this thoughts,
From this void,
From this memories,

But,
My body was not moving, it was limp.

In all this chaos,
My eyes are looking at this emptiness.
And The rest is the same for me.

Before I can finish this , the paper was half wet with my tears. I fell on the floor and cried. Cried... Cried... Cried.. Until I lost all my senses.

**************

I know this is short update but bare it.

Arhh it was emotional right! Don't have a bad impression on Gulf in this story because he is a lonar,introvert and don't know how to share his thoughts or feelings.

So he rejected Mew. 🥺🥺. Any one cried while reading this. I 🙋🏻‍♀️.

Thank you all for 1k reads. It is my first work. I know this is not perfect book but I'm trying to make it worth reading. Thank you all who read it,commented on it and voted on this story. Love you all. Lots of love from me. ❤️

Love you all.
_Nitham