Memory Lane

Chapter 44

HERMIONE

Hermione sits at the table, concentrating. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could have been any of the last several days, too, and she can't sit around the Manor any longer. She and Narcissa both enjoy one another's company to keep from going mental, but she just couldn't do it for another second today.

It's been a little over two months since the final battle. Hermione has spent hours, full days, in depositions. Testimonies. She recorded official statements and clarified details until she thought she was going to pull her hair out.

Every point had to be verified independently by someone else at first. Until quite recently, it felt like. Hermione's judgement was deemed to be 'flawed,' a uniquely insulting injustice she's never had to deal with before now.

She's so tired of everyone, everywhere, deciding things on her behalf: that she doesn't know what she's doing or saying, that she couldn't possibly mean it, that she must be too traumatised to be of use.

Even Draco had still been doing it, until almost the very end. He had the individual motivation of truly trying to look out for her and it was sweet coming from him. It frustrated her, but she understood it. But she doesn't feel like that's anyone else's motivation now. Now, they just want the Malfoy men to hang, and invalidating Hermione's testimony was paramount to it.

She won't let it happen. And she's not the only one fighting for them, but no one's accounts mean more than hers or Severus's. Harry's word would have gone a long way, but Harry -

Hermione shakes her head, concentrating on the table again. She taps her finger on the table and assesses what comes out. She waves her hand in a flat gesture. No more.

She did have letters from Harry, though. She'd made copies of everything relevant and given them to the panel, letting them read Harry's own writings. Severus had told Harry a great deal before he was set free, details and plans, the full situation. Harry had been spreading the word among the Resistance, in turn, ever since he'd arrived.

Infuriatingly, Severus's judgement was deemed perfectly sound. He wasn't romantically involved with one of the defendants, after all. Her own mental state had to be reviewed before she was able to contribute anything in the way of depositions. People made depositions on her. The process was maddening.

Butterworth was extremely helpful, testifying that he'd been to see her many times since her exit from the park. They were working together on the "acknowledgement and processing of her trauma," and after the final battle he had connected her with a specialised Mind Healer.

Her psychiatric work is ongoing, something that she'd have kept up with even if the Wizengamot hadn't required it to validate her state of mind.

Hermione collects her winnings and waits for the next hand.

In addition to her hours and hours of legal preparations, studying for her NEWTs has been a big help to pass the time. She'd felt quite refreshed on potions work, arithmancy, and runes, but there was a lot to brush up on.

She's thoroughly enjoyed it, the studying and the challenge of impending tests. She's always tested very well, always loved being assessed this way. She knows she holds up well to scrutiny.

She wishes the extensive assessment of her mental stability felt as validating. To be fair, it was harder to prove, not a simple right or wrong answer to a formula on a piece of parchment.

She's giving serious thought to Draco's suggestion of becoming a Healer. She liked the battlefield medic experience, odd though it feels to say. She found that she could focus in the chaos, could hone in on what needed to be done. The urgency and drive was thrilling, her Occlumency more useful than she could have ever imagined. She was useful, helping others, in a time of crisis.