after reading kyle's last text, ibinaba ni rocco ang kamay niya at tinignan si luna na nakahiga pa rin sa sahig, even mumbling incoherent words.
he sighed while looking at her, he was frustrated. mad, even. iba yung timpla ng tiyan niya nang makita si luna na mag-isang nakahiga at natutulog sa daan.
paano na lang kung iba yung nakakita sa kanya? paano kung may ibang tao ang lalapit sa kanya habang wala siyang malay?
nakakunot-noo siyang lumapit kay luna. he crouched down and examined her face. and there it dawned on him.
she just finished crying.
she had been crying, rather. since mamasa-masa pa yung pisngi niya. nakakunot rin ang noo niya na parang may pinapanaginipan.
he didn't know why everytime—every damn time that they cross paths, she seemed to be hurting. he also hated the fact that it would always be like this.
parating mag-isa.
parating umiiyak ng palihim.
kaya siguro kumakalas sa grupo to pag nahihilo na dahil gusto nang umiyak.
he sighed again.
"luna, gising."
"hmm"
"masasagasaan tayo dito pag di ka pa gumising."
"k lang,"
"ano?"
she chuckled, "walang dumadaan dito."
napatingin siya sa paligid. wala nga.
"lika," she pulled him, kaya napaupo si rocco. "humiga ka."
and that he did.
with the help of her force, though.
"oh diba, sarap sa feeling."
oddly enough, she was right. malamig yung daan at hindi rin gaano kadumi since sabi nga ni luna, walang masyadong dumadaan.
"ano nga ulit pangalan mo?"
he choked at his own saliva at her question.
tumawa siya at nagtanong pabalik, "may amnesia ka ba kapag lasing?"
"wala ah. tanda ko nga ikaw rin kasama ko sa kotse habang kumakanta ng all too well, 30 minute version."
a slow smile crept his face.
"i just dont remember your name kapag hilo na 'ko."
"selective amnesia?"
she faced him, he was laying down at the height of her shoulder kaya yumuko pa si luna para mapantayan ang tingin ni rocco.
"you're not answering it?"
"you'll figure it out in the morning, anyway."
she snorted, "sabagay."
and then there was silence.
total silence.
yung katahimikan na ihip lang ng hangin ang maririnig nila, and ofcourse their own breathing. even the muffled noise from the acoustic bar nearby was submerged by the defeaning silence. a confirmation that it was only the two of them here, lying down at the cold cement road, eyes closed.
"it's funny how we always meet like this."
he nodded, eyes still closed.
"you always witness me like this."
"i don't mind."
"minsan, nakakahiya na. minsan lang ha kasi nakainom naman ako. wala akong hiya pag lasing eh."
"i figured,"
"did you just agree?"
"we're lying on the middle of the road, lu."
she chuckled, "sabagay."
"you shouldn't be lying at the road alone, drunk. delikado, lu."
"kaya ko naman."
"alam ko. pero paano kung may mga panahon na hindi na?"
"you sound like kyle and juno." she snorted.
"they mean well."
"alam ko,"
"matuto kang humingi ng tulong, lu. hindi nakakabuti yung inaako mo lahat."
and silence for the second time around. this time, both of them wanted to say something. rocco spoke up first,
"you remember what you asked me nang una tayong nagmeet?"
"hmm,"
"tulog ka na?"
"no. nakikinig ako sayo, what about it?"
"have you ever been in love, lu?"
she chuckled, "hulaan mo."
he smirked.
"nainlove na," he said in a matter of fact manner, tila ba sinusunod ang tono ng boses ni luna noon. "sure yan. nasaktan na nga rin dati eh."
she grinned and nodded twice.
"hayaan kitang mag justify ng answer. go."
"when you said you saw through my eyes, it also struck to me na we're the same. we mask ourselves through facade and walls. pero alam mo how i peeked through those walls?"
"kung sa akin, mata. sayo, yung boses mo."
her brows arched.
"that's new."
"malungkot, eh. sobra," he started. "i mean, tunog masaya naman. pero kapag papakinggan mo ng mabuti, it feels empty. hollow and void. when you're with other people, you try your best to sound bubbly, happy. when in fact hindi naman? i guess you are, but may gap. a bigger part of you lacked. na parang may kumuha, na may dumating para lang sirain tas iwanan ka? and you tend to cry alone kasi ayaw mong marinig ng ibang tao yung ganitong boses mo. vulnerable and hurting. you try to do everything yourself. feel, hurt on your own."
rocco decided to look at luna after seconds of not hearing from her. and there he found out that she was already looking at him, her brows were furrowed. and in a brief moment, he swore he saw fear in her eyes. but it didn't last long kasi kumalas si luna sa pagtitig kay rocco at bumangon sa pagkakahiga.
"tara,"
"san?"
"uwi na tayo."
because she knew that if they stayed there any longer, her fears might creep in again.
she hated being read, being analyzed. being understood.
and rocco opened those doors for her once again.
—-
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lunabanana 🍌 @luna_tic Fuck
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