16| Never Hesitate With Me

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Ilyana

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Ilyana

His blue eyes pierce through me. There was something always about his eyes that told the true story.

"Push. It. Forward."

"My Lord—"

"Now, Ily."

I bite my lip and shove the arrow forward in one swift motion causing him to gasp in agony. Rushing to his front, I watched as his hands and legs shook after he gripped the front half of the arrow. "Oh by the gods—jjst do it you coward!" He spat to himself. His knuckles turned white and he gave the arrow one good yank before the rest of it came through.

"I thought you said there's nothing to seal it with!" I panicked, covering my mouth and nose with my hands as I watched him.

Ramsay smirks, a little of that madness seeping through as he nodded, "Yes, well the tip of the arrow should suffice to spark a flame."

My eyes widened as I noticed the blood spilling out the wound and I scrambled for more fabric to stop it. Ripping a long piece at the end of my dress, Ramsay makes a disappointing groan. "It was so pretty on you too. I had specially made."

"Now it can be made to save you." I quip, getting infuriated by his lack of worry.

He chuckles as his hands work quickly and easily to spark a flame on what little wood there was from the broken arrow. He grabs his dagger and sticks over the flame until it glows a bright red, his lips widening into a grin when he flicks his gaze to me.

"Do the honors for me, my lady. If you wish me not to die so much."

Ramsay lifts up his shirt revealing his torso and on the side is a small gaping hole.

"Hurry, love, we have two to get through and the flame won't last."

"Right, yes.."

What's one more? I can save him. I have to keep him alive if I want to survive through this as well.

I scoot up close to him so we are inches apart, his eyes fixated on me the entire time. He thrusts the hot dagger into my hand and says in a low dangerous tone, "Never hesitate with me."

I press the blazing hot side of the blade to his bare skin where his wound is and he throws himself against me as I do, groaning in deep pain as his face buried against my hair.
After several moments I pull away and reheat the blade, my heart thrumming against my chest loudly as I see the fire is getting smaller. One more that's all I have, I must not fail him.

"Pity I do not have any wine." Ramsay mutters, his words coming out hushed.

My eyes light up when the blade glows bright red again and I scurry to his back and press it against the other side of his wound, sealing it completely.

I take a few moments to admire his strong muscular back and notice the ends of my long dark hair had fallen over his shoulders as I held the blade against him securely. One of my hands has instinctively wrapped around the front of him where his collarbone is.

Something stirred within my core being so close to him like this, my breathing slowed like time did. Whenever he was around... my heart..

Ramsay hums deeply for a moment and I feel it vibrate against my forearm, he hums a beautiful melody I have never heard before. Like a lullaby.

He stops and turns his head to the side towards me and I still. "You feel it as I do, do you not?"

"F-Feel what..?" My head jerks and I go to remove my hands from him, but he catches the one wrapped around his collarbone.

"You know what I speak."

My heart hammers loudly and I make little effort to break from his grasp, his hand was warm on my wrist. By the gods what is this man doing to me?

"I know not of what you speak, my Lord."

He shifts so he is facing me, still holding my wrist as he tugs me into him so I meet his gaze head on.
"Tell me, why your heart thundered against my chest?"

My mouth opens slightly and I'm held captive as his fierce blue eyes are searching mine until they dip to my lips.

Ramsay drags his eyes back up to mine and whispers, "Was it for me or were you afraid?"

He should know for certain I do not fear him. Not anymore.

Now my eyes are searching his, the hold on my wrist tightens slightly and I see his jaw muscle ticking.
I know he told me not to hesitate with him, but to answer his question—I am afraid.

With a shaky breath I answer. "My answer is yes to both."

He tilts his head to the side slightly and pulls me forward and puts my hand around the back of his neck. "And what were you afraid of?"

"L-Losing y-you." I relent and he looks at me intensely.

"You won't lose me that easily, Ily."

Let me be your wine. The sudden thought I had while looking up at him causes my cheeks to flare. Gods! I could never speak that to him!

"Ilyana, do you love me?"

His head dips as he draws closer to me, his hot breath fanning over my lips.

Do I love him? The answer was not certain in my heart. When I don't answer him immediately, he pulls away. The cold air whips around my body and I feel a horrible ache penetrating my chest at his absence. Would he have truly kissed my lips if I had given him the answer?

What was this strange feeling? And why did I want him so close to me right now? I wanted his arms wrapped around me as they were, I wanted to taste his scent.

"When and if you ever so happen to, I want you to speak my name again. And not by my title. Until that day, you are forbidden to speak it." He declared, and I noted a sourness in his voice. Something in him had convinced himself it would never happen, and my lips tug up at how childish he seemed. If he only knew that I already was fond of him...but love...

What was it to love a man?

"My Lord, may I ask what it is to love a man? How does one know?"

I'm playing with the ends of my hair, my face downcast as I feel ashamed I do not know the answer. My mother or father never taught me such a thing, so what was it?

"Your innocence is admirable, my lady," he sighs and stares at the dying embers of the small fire.

"To love a man, means you think of him often and you cannot stop those thoughts, he consumes your dreams, and you always find yourself wanting to be wherever he is. You wish to take care of him, you want to marry this man and lay with him so you may bare his children. You want to be with him and only him for the rest of your days."

"Have you loved a woman before, my Lord?" I ask softly as I come to sit by him.

His head snaps to me in surprise that I asked him that.

"I..."

The sound of dogs in the distance caused us both to jump. Ramsay wrapped his healing wound with ragged fabric before putting his leather armor back on.

"They will find us if we do not leave now."

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