A North Carolina Autumn

Chapter Sixty-Seven

"No, that's..."

"Hold on, love." Rylie shushes me softly before continuing. "It was wrong of me to leave like that. I promised myself after that night on the beach, the night my mom called me to tell me she was pregnant, I promised myself that I would never walk away from you again. Whether it was because we were fighting or any other reason.

"But the moment I got outside, I realized I'd done just that. I left you, and suddenly all that mattered was getting back to you. When I turned around though, I saw you. I left you, but you came after me, even though I didn't deserve it."

"No, I'm the one that's undeserving. The things I said to you," I pause, failing to stop a sob. "Ry, I am so sorry. I don't know why I said those things. They weren't true, and you deserved none of that. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, come here." Rylie pulls me into her arms, holding me tightly as I cry. She cries with me, and I tighten my hold on her, wishing I could rewind the past 30 minutes and keep this from happening. Or maybe rewind far enough to keep myself from relapsing again. Then none of this would've happened.

"I'm sorry for saying I was worried about leaving you alone." Rylie speaks once we've both calmed down. "That really made it seem like I don't trust you, but I do trust you Aspen. In every regard."

"I know." I whisper, keeping hold of her hand as I sit up.

"I know how strong you are, and I know you're strong enough to handle the nightmares and anything related to Gabe. I just hate that he still has a hold on you, and I wish I could just make him go away for good. I'm not worried about leaving you alone, Aspen. I just don't want you to have to deal with these things alone if I were to go on the trip. I promised myself I would be there for you through everything, but if I go on this trip, I won't be keeping that promise."

"You shouldn't have to worry about things like that." I whisper, fiddling with Rylie's wedding ring. "I don't know why everything is coming back, or why I'm having these nightmares, but it's not something you should have to deal with too."

"It is, Aspen." Rylie gently lifts my chin until my eyes meet hers. "The first time I learned about Gabe, I was just your friend, but that was when I decided I would do everything I could to help you recover from the things he put you through. When I found out what those things were, I was your girlfriend. I watched in awe as you healed from his abuse, and as you decided to turn him in for what he'd done. I'd never felt more proud in my life as I watched my girlfriend go through hell to get the justice she deserved.

"I was your un-official fiancé when we learned of Gabe's death. I watched you deal with that news, and despite all the pain and abuse Gabe put you through, you still had empathy for him as a human. You didn't let yourself see the situation as your abuser getting killed, getting what he deserved. There is only good inside of you, and because of that, you saw it as though he was an innocent human that lost his life.

"I was officially your fiancé when I learned that you care for people in such a big way, that they could hurt you over and over, and you would still forgive them. You would still try to find some good in them. While I saw Gabe only as the disgusting, repulsive human trash that he was, you saw him differently. Your heart remembered the few good times you had with him, before all the bad. Because of that, you felt, and maybe still feel, like Gabe deserved to live.

"I was your wife when the nightmares started. While I suspect that there are nights that you don't wake me up, I'm so thankful for the nights you do. After that first one, I promised myself that I would hold you after each and every nightmare if you'd let me, and try to make things okay. Because you deserve to be okay, Aspen."

"Rylie..." My voice breaks and Rylie doesn't hesitate with pulling me into her arms.

"I've been lucky enough to go from being just your friend, to your wife, all the while watching you grow and heal from the trauma Gabe caused. I've promised myself that I would help you and be there for you anytime I could, but the truth is, I don't really think you need me. Gabe might've tried to hurt you in ways that can't be fixed, but you didn't let him. You have proven time and time again how strong you are, and I am so thankful that I've been able to watch you prove that."